I recall when I was in the healing field, one of the main reasons people did not want to heal was because of this apparent need to avoid emotional pain, with even a thought they would never stop crying if they tapped into certain memories. By the time I heard this exact phrase come out of the mouth of a family member, I knew it was time to draft a poem.
When I recall the moments when my life’s dreams were dashed
When I start to stall on momentum that has slowed down so fast
When I see the crashing of monuments that meant so much to me
When I see that the lobsters in the bucket want nothing to be free
When I think of all the secret and subtle times my mom and dad tried
I wonder how long it would last … if I laid down and cried
I find myself isolated, lost, deserted, corrupted, caught
Believing … if I start to cry, I will never stop
When I think of the time, saying goodbye to Hennessy, our dog
Looking to the heavens, then grieving into a pillow … dear God
When I look back and see how invisible I was, not standing up for myself
When I think of all the times I put my needs, wants, visions on a shelf
When I perceive how silly miscommunication could push us off the path of love
When I get a glimpse of the divine mosaic printing perfect patterns, all seen from above
All the enemies we branded, demanded, attacked, battled, fought
As I now wonder … if I start to cry, will I ever stop?
The family and friends I so desperately longed to know
Can be found beyond the barrier of this façade sideshow
In surreal moment, I once mourned so deeply the death of the living Christ
Not yet knowing that no such darkness can ever extinguish the Light
On Rumi’s divine field we shall gather, and meet all the grand characters there
Into eyes we will recognize, the cast on Shakespeare’s stage … now bare
Enveloped in the shimming illumination that this cycle of birth and rebirth has taught
Now believing … as tears wash me clean, this love will never stop
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