Tuesday, October 15, 2019

You’re Not Welcome Here

Shyness whispers in my ear; despondency responds
One sure truth is all so clear, nowhere do I belong
As friends disappear, there comes to mind a lonely open door
The past appears, and now I recall the losses from before
There are no real surprises … just the echoes down the hall
And then the belief arises: "You’re not welcome here at all"

An absent mother didn’t see the medals I could have worn
A jealous brother oh so mean, saying: “It was better before you were born”
Hide and seek in the yard, you played it without inviting me
Math and speech so hard, I could barely manage a D
There were the cliques in high school, the athletes would gather inside
You know I just wasn’t that cool, the elites kept me outside
The dates I had were fine, and the relationships sublime
Yet fate would lead me blind, until connections left me behind
One betrayal after the other, I question if I can go on
Can I handle another chance to see where I don’t belong?
Not ever knowing where to start, or when to say what to say
And then even my own heart, found a way to keep me at bay
With little gratitude, I saw only the lack before my eyes
Even in solitude, my thoughts would attack my own disguise
Holding up a tight clenched fist, no relief, just a trip turning into a fall
Arising from a mindset mist, that belief: “You’re not welcome here at all”

And then alas it does come: a new mind, a new thought
No matter how far I’ve run, it was time that I got caught
Gradually, from place to place, the movement had begun
Finally, face-to-face, I saw the reflection of the one
Let’s hold it out, give it birth, and breathe a brand new breath
Let’s scream and shout, in our rebirth, seizing a timely death
A healed mind realizes what to do, and also what to know
A feeling kind, a path so true, in this time to grow
Full of grace and with loving release, we cut away what does not serve
With a steady pace, we shift beliefs, and accept what we deserve
Could the original thought be wrong, could we change a belief gone astray?
Could it be that I do belong, in a reality where it’s safe to say?
Yes, just in time, we secure a new phase, heeding the angels’ call
And now we decline and turn back the phrase: sorry ... you are not welcome here at all
You’re not welcome here at all