The Art Of The Apology

From James Anthony Ellis'  upcoming book, a deep dive into the true nature of forgiveness and atonement. Here is a poetic expression regarding an act all too often misinterpreted.  

The apology.

It is an art form; is it not?

How to deliver your regret?

How to bring your humility? Your responsibility?

And do so without the harsh clench of guilt, or shame or even blame.

How to deliver your regret, your pain?

Believing what you've done has affected another

Someone you call a friend, a lover, a love

How to deliver this?

Perhaps, just perhaps:

It takes a simple look, a simple prayer, a simple foundation at first

A foundation that sees us all connected

A knowing that at heart - we have not separated

A knowing that as spirit - we have not harmed a soul

But a knowing that in this physical realm - where we lean on one another and count on each other  - we can fall short

And in that falling - in that deep well we call humanity - we can bring our friend a gift

An apology

Not to make us "wrong" or "bad" or condemned to a forever hell.

But a gift that says:

·      I am a part of you.

·      I am connected to you.

·      I wish to be unified again.

·      What I've done has brought an adverse affect.

·      And for that I acknowledge my part and wish to offer regret and retribution.

·      From my deepest heart, allow me to do what I can to reinstate the One Mind and the One Power ... within us both.

This would be, indeed, a work of art ... 

The Vital Role of Law Enforcement We All Must Protect

As I watch the marchers march onto streets and freeways, the rioters run roughshod in the roads burning down buildings, and looters ripping off businesses that once constituted community, what springs to mind is the devastated blow taken by our law and order.

Yes of course I speak of:

• Our laws that are designed to protect property and persons.
• Our basic rights that are to keep sacred our humanity not to be infringed upon by outside forces.
• Our safety that is a foundation of our sanity.

But also I speak of the law and order that is grounded in the day-to-day, nitty-gritty work of our men and women holding the thin blue line. Yes, I think about their humanity and the job they are called to do here.

These folks have families. These folks have an almost impossible task. These folks are human.

If we didn't have these officers - far far far in the percentage honorable and faithful - our rule of law and order would completely collapse. We can't have that as a nation, no matter any emotional turmoil or controversy.

• But what can be done? What can be done so we all can act as "one force" for the good of all?
• Will we consider such questions?
• Will we answer such questions?

It should be remembered that these police - these humans behind the badge - must remain calm, centered, focused and vigilant in the face of the absolute worst-case scenarios. People spitting at them, yelling at them, throwing rocks at them, and yes shooting at them. They have to maintain civility while the most uncivil of actions are aimed their way.

Can any of us handle that?

I wouldn't be able to. I get lit up into a tizzy when I read a rant against me on some online platform. Some ranter goes all negative on me, and I instantly want to react. It's only natural. Fight or flight. Adrenalin. Heartbeat rising. Blood pressure. And that is all over a YouTube comment?

Imagine what these officers deal with. If not the horrors on the street, then it's the tragedies they must report in on. The families they must inform of a deceased son or daughter who will not be returning home. Car wrecks, murder, sexual assault, child prostitution, human trafficking, the broken spirit of those lost in homelessness.

And now all this?

Looters disregarding the laws the officers are designated to uphold. Rioters standing ground without a clear request but just a drive to deride and steal. People screaming in their faces, trying to hit or torch their vehicles.

And then after a full day of trauma and terror in the neighborhood, the officers are to go home and be a family man and family woman. A husband, a wife, a mother, a father.

It's almost too much to imagine.

I can not fathom the stress. I can't imagine the hypervigilance that must take over their minds and bodies ... and then remain there, as they attempt to deal with the most mundane tasks or try to simply lay down to sleep.

And as we see being played out on the latest newscast, as certain public menaces appear to get a free pass to be completely belligerent, aggressive, and violent, the officers are the ones who must train to de-escalate situations. The officers are to take courses and training on de-escalation and their own wellness, learning to normalize emotional, mental and spiritual states. They are the ones being trained in resilience and mindfulness techniques such as meditation in order to stay calm under fire. They are the ones who now, in San Diego as of June 2, must follow guidelines that prohibit choke-holds as a defense technique. They are the ones who must work with recent California laws that could make it harder for them to instantly defend themselves if need be against a potential shooter.

They are doing all that. And more.

They do their job, and they do their part, as they must. Even when a rotten cop in the same profession completely goes corrupt, and the wide brush of blame covers their uniform and livelihood too, they do their job.

They do it anyway, because it's what they are called to do. Not just for a paycheck, but for the good of a community, and for our good.

And so my question is ... WHAT CAN WE DO?

If they are doing their part in de-escalation scenes, and protecting property and persons as best they can, and holding high the black-and-white standards of law and order .... what about us? What is the citizens' part?

I'll ask it again: What can you as a citizen DO today to join in "one force" for the good of all?

What can you do to bring the best relations between law enforcement and the community?

I'd like to hear your answers. Please answer below by following the simple instructions.

Thank you for your participation.

Thank you for answering the question, and pondering the topic of joining together in "one force."

____________________________________________________

"WHAT I CAN DO IS" MONTAGE - GIVE YOUR INPUT

"What I Can Do Is ... "

As part of the “One Force” project, a montage is being produced wherein a number of people - activists, community members, law enforcement, leaders - will answer one question to help build a positive bridge between police and the public. Imagine it.

Can you answer this: "What can you personally do to help build the positive relations between community and law enforcement?"

Once you are clear on that answer, you can:

1. Get your phone.
2. Hold it sideways.
3. Record a 10 - 20 second video with you finishing this statement “What I can do is ...”   
4. Speak up clearly.
5. Send to JimEllis1103@Gmail.com or (858) 518-5826.

Imagine the montage of having so many different voices, from various parts of our society, answering that! Powerful.

For an example, here are a few answers from various sources: CLICK HERE.


James Anthony Ellis, owner of Legacy Productions, is producing the "Keeping The Peace" project, with details found HERE. 

Top 20 Most Influential Music Albums in my Life

On Facebook, I was nominated to post every day about an album that was influential in my life. Since I made it a Top 20, I had to do the Casey Kasem thing and do a countdown. But before we get to number 1, let's make it suspenseful with the previous 11 through 20, and then count them down 10 to 1. It's so ESPN too. LOL!

11.

 12.

 13.

 14.

15.

16.

17.

18.

 19.

20.

10. Quadrophenia - The Who

I recall hearing that synthesizer sound from "Love Reign O'er Me" in the overture from a commercial about the Quadrophenia movie in 1979. I was transfixed. This sounded like it meant something! Later hearing Roger Daltry scream "LOOOOOVE" towards the end of that song, I was like "Yup, it does." I'm not a mod or a rocker, and I can't relate to any of the details of the story here, but who cares! These guys were playing their hearts out and the undertones are universal. Peter Townsend was listed in the credits as using instruments: "The Remainder." Must have been proud. What a peak experience and a peak album.

9. The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway - Genesis

I was 15, just opening up to other bands besides my first love Beatles. And all this different type of music was made available (well not as available as it is now with YouTube). I had such a blast exploring the broad landscapes and experimental sounds of various bands, mostly this one Genesis. While he was in the band, Peter Gabriel was writing lyrics that made very little sense - how freeing was that? 

Already armed with some "I am the Walrus" words from Beatle John, I recall thinking the poetry I was writing at this time had to be far-out and hard to understand - lol. Trying to decipher what the heck Peter intended was part of the fun. Add in some Tony Banks' mellotron filling up all leftover space with an angelic choir, some lush drums, vibrating bass pedal and howling guitars, and I could be busy for weeks. I added this album to the list because, besides opening my mind to all creative possibilities, it is still one in which I can hear a different interpretation each time I listen to it.

8. Parsley Sage Rosemary and Thyme - Simon and Garfunkel

 










So there I am this little tyke who actually had a pull towards the creative and the poetic. The first poem I wrote was at age 9 or 10. By the time I was in high school, I was ready. What a great blessing to have a hip teacher of English who chose to not focus on such popular yet insufferable poems as "The Red Wheelbarrow" but rather on the lyrics found in the likes of retro songs by the Beatles, Cat Stevens and Simon and Garfunkel. Learning the parts of speech:

• A simile? Why sure: ".... like a rat in a maze, the path before me lies..."
• A metaphor? Why sure: "...we are verses out of rhythm...."
• An alliteration? Why sure: "...On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow."

There you go! The Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme album was one that my folks owned before I started my music consumption, so I have it squarely in my deep subconscious. And I'm glad I still do. Such beauty, such poetry, such meaning. It helped me along on my path as a writer. Thanks to a great teacher and this music.

PS: Is there a more eloquent tune than "Scarborough Fair/Canticle"?

7. Poetic Champions Compose - Van Morrison

 

I like me some mysticism with my music. This album came along as I was graduating college and just finding a way with this heart of mine ... secretly broken a majority of my life, but longing for the freedom to express itself. Van Morrison came along just in time. Quite prolific, Van's albums from this 1987 one through 1994 were a constant flow of spiritual searching and celebration. This album holds a sweet spot in my heart since it was the first one of his I got. Must be that Irish soul, it still brings back fond memories of "letting go into the mystery."

 

6. Hounds of Love - Kate Bush

The first CD I bought and played on my new system. Woah. Who knew ANYTHING could sound like this. This artist didn't just move outside the box, she broke it up and threw it away. More and more over the years. However this 1985 album just blew me away. 

The second side - "The Ninth Wave" - was an entire out of body experience, transporting the singer and the audience in an arch from heaven to hell to heaven. Again: woah. I recall in those days, me and some pals used to gather together and play some of her stuff. Don't need no drugs or drinking, just a mind ready to be blown open.

PS: I didn't notice those dogs on the cover until years later. LOL.
 

5. Turn Your Radio On - Ray Stevens

This album is still alive within me today. Released in 1972, it came out before I became a huge music fan a year later after hearing, of course, Charlie Rich's smash hit "The Most Beautiful Girl." That opened the flood gates. 

However it was this album, we used to play in the living room on my parent's TV/record player console, that really uplifted me up during the kid years. Religious in nature, the songs were a source of good feelings and brotherly and sisterly love. The song that really hit me was "Mama and a Papa."

Sample lyrics: "Not long ago, I wanted to see, why other people couldn't be as happy as me. Didn't take long for me to find out, people in the world living without."

Two interesting notes about the album. 1. We only listened to the first side, over and over again, and rarely turned it over to listen to the second side. 2. When we finally played the album on something other than the relic machine in the living room, we were shocked to hear other sounds like a choir not heard in a mono mix. Ha.

I bet no one else would have this in their top 10, except for maybe my sisters and folks.

4. Breakfast in America - Supertramp

 

So there it was the summer of 1979, and 99 percent of my music was all about the Beatles. I was all about compiling their music, as a band and as individual performers. Somehow I didn't have the space for other music and musicians. And then came this sorta goofy song on the radio, which I at first mocked. It was "The Logical Song." Later a song would arrive "Goodbye Stranger" then "Take the Long Way Home" and "Breakfast in America." Hey wait a minute - this was all from the same band and album? I gotta check that out. I did and so glad I did, since hearing these awesome melodies and introspective lyrics opened my mind to all other musicians on the scene. All of the sudden, there was The Who, the Rolling Stones, Genesis, Led Zepplin, and on and on and on. 

The other Supertramp albums showed songs that carried a truly spiritual journey, one in which I was just embarking. "Lord Is It Mine" from this album, as well as other songs: "Babaji," "Even in the Quietest Moments," "The Meaning" ... 

And on and on...

 

3. Stones in the Road - Mary Chapin Carpenter

In 1994, I went through a brutal breakup, having moved in with a girlfriend in August and then separating in December. Devastated, I felt completely lost. No music, no messages, no communication could match the level of heartbreak I was feeling. I felt so alone in my loss. That was before a new roommate Teri gave me a Christmas gift. "Stones in the Road" by Mary Chapin Carpenter. Finally, a voice that carried the sort of depth of heart that I needed. Finally lyrics that hit the mark, right where I was standing.

FROM "Jubilee"

"I can tell by the way you're walking

You don't want company

I'll let you alone and I'll let you walk on

And in your own good time you'll be ....."

Oh my God, she's talking directly to me.

Not sure how Mary does it - that voice carries so much compassion and care. I believe she must be writing and singing from experience. Her own raw experience.

FROM "Where Time Stands Still"

"And memory plays tricks on us

The more we cling, the less we trust

And the less we trust, the more we hurt

And as time goes on, it just gets worse"

Who else is willing to go to this place, with such vulnerable expression? I needed someone to share from this place. And though I belonged to some circles of healing at the time, somehow it took this East Coast gal with a guitar to reach me with her message of loss, longing and then transformation ...

FROM "This is Love"

"But I'm standing here now

With my heart held out to you

You would've thought a miracle

Was all that got us through

Well, baby, all I know

All I know is I'm still standing

And this is love, all it ever was and will be

This is love."

Yes, in the end, no matter what we've been through or what we have lost, love will save us, and be enough. Thank you Mary.

2. Born to Run - Bruce Springsteen

The first time I recall seeing this album anywhere was at Isabel Almeida's 18th birthday party in February 1981 when someone opened up the album cover and said, "This is a good album." Hmm. It is?

Oh, yeah, I'd come to find out. It is!

By the end of that summer, my foreign exchange student friend was gone, back to Brazil, and I was left here in Orange County, opening up Born to Run myself, ironically soothed about her loss by the words, angst, passion and realness found within this album.

I mean just Bruce's wail at the end of "Jungleland" said it all. No words needed. No concepts, no story, no theme required. Just a gut-wrenching howl at the broken-hearted night. How does he convey so much in a guttural groan? It helped me ... since I was far from expressing that much emotion with that much force.

And I needed to.

The first heartbreak may be the hardest. And I took it hard in 1981. Having this album around, I felt like I wasn't alone in this painful human experience. And it wasn't about the streets of Jersey, or the boardwalk, or a meeting across the river. I wouldn't relate to any of that. Hell, I could barely drive. It was all about the pain of growing up and facing heartbreaks - even with a close friend.

Since I felt I lost a dear one, the lyrics of "Backstreets" would be seared into my soul. When Bruce sang it from his soul, I would feel my soul, and the soul-connection with my dear friend that I thought I had lost forever. And yet ...

"Well after all this time

To find we're just like all the rest

Stranded in the park

And forced to confess

To hiding on the backstreets

Where we swore forever friends ...

On the backstreets until the end."

There would be a number of other Bruce albums, songs and concerts that would mean so much. But for a 17-year-old kid just needing to truly howl at the night, this came into my life at just the right time.

 

AND THE NUMBER ONE MOST INFLUENTIAL ALBUM IN MY LIFE is ...

1. The Beatles / 1967-1970

 My first true love. The first album I ever got was a life-changer of course. Before this came along, there were a few other tunes around - on the radio, like "Spirit in the Sky" "Down on the Corner" "I Think I Love You" "American Pie" "The Most Beautiful Girl" and some songs from my folks' musical albums: "Oklahoma" "South Pacific" and "West Side Story." (Can still hear "Gee Officer Krupke!")

But then this. Wow.

I recall they used to sell records - singles and albums - at the local Save-ons near our bank. I'd go in there and leaf through the bins. I'm not even sure why I wanted this one. (My pop owned Hard Days Night already I think). But once I got this one, and heard it, I wanted them all. Though the second album - The Beatles 1962 - 1966 didn't have the same excitement as the blue one.

At the age of 9, I'd never heard such amazing music before. The melodies, the far-out lyrics. This was beyond a few popular songs. This was magic. I can't explain it really.

The words were so creative. I recall pouring over them on the inner blue sleeve. I am the Walrus, Strawberry Fields Forever, A Day in the Life, Come Together. At 9, I guess I was ready for some experimental creative writing. LOL.

The only song that didn't seem to fit, and my siblings and I would pretty much laugh at it, was "Old Brown Shoe." It was hard to hear the vocal on our record players. In fact, that title became a label for anything that didn't make sense. That one weird TV show, or teacher? How "old brown shoe."

In retrospect, I do find it interesting how certain music can carry such excitement and wonder.

Whereas other music may have great melodies and lyrics, it's just not the same. Somehow the Beatles were different for me, and apparently different for a lot of people.

Thanks boys. Only 8 years of recording produced all of your catalogue. It takes some artists that long in-between albums! Appreciate all the songs and all those years. Especially 67-70!

A View From a Million Miles High

Written for my wife on our 7th anniversary. We met as co-workers for ANK Enterprises living at a distance from each other in 2006. Her family could have moved to San Diego county from the East Coast, but nixed that idea. That should clarify the "inside story" of this higher view tale. Enjoy.

A boy jumping through mud and puddles in OC
A girl, in heaven’s realm, grinning at all she could see
A boy trudging through a youth in miscommunication
A girl searching souls for a life of dedication
A boy, arriving 1963, bouncing and joyful here on this earth
A girl, arriving 1973, in wonder, wondering what this will be worth
Two souls – more than just passersby, passing on by
In this – a view from a million miles high



Once upon a time, a plan was afoot to journey out west

The East Coast family father thought it to be best
Could have maybe bumped into each other when Escondido called
Though the plans would change – some timelines would be stalled
We all know the story – how that family move was dashed
A new storyline would be written, with new characters cast
This play’s players would just have to give it another try
No big deal – in this view from a million miles high

So then in 2006, the boy would be axed from a lame-ass career

He’d have to find another position, and get off of his rear
The girl already in the Bay Area, led there by this guy   
She had established herself in publicity and was easily getting by
So, there came to be a crossroads of the boy and girl on one day
When both were working for the same tyrant at a company A.N.K.
He marketing, she managing, both e-mailing late at night
Discovering such similar paths in a union that felt so right
It’s like puzzle pieces, recipes, tapestry art, or birds that in unison fly
It’s like someone is watching from a million miles high

And here we are – a couple of kooks – doing our thing whatever that is

Walking and talking, running with Hennessy, working our biz
Eating great meals, closing divine deals, being who we can be
Still holding to an enlightened life full of productions of legacy   
Yoga, toga, still in consideration for the good of all we know here
Calling out kind messages and birthday wishes for those we hold dear
All in God’s plan, we’re all in His hands; it was the idea from the start
The boy and the girl – on the path of discovering each other’s heart
Now angels, spirit, higher selves – with a divine smile, giggle and sigh
Heavenly hosts celebrating … a view from a million miles high

The Stories We Tell

As I have moved along this silly life of mine, I have often heard my father say in conversation, "Did I ever tell you the time..." to which I would think, "Why yes, of course, many times" even before he retold it. Over the years, he took the energetic hint to alter his introductory statement to be: "Hey, I told you about the time..." before the trip through Retroville.

And so would begin a fun, light, engaging, often mystical memory that probably entertained him as much as others in the room. And this was fine. Entertainment is a positive thing no matter who is enjoying it.

In considering these fun tales, I ask myself if there are any stories and memories that I hold that would entertain me down the road, and perhaps others listening in as well.
What would future generations be interested in as I recalled what I have seen and known throughout
this silly life of mine?

Well ...

Did I ever tell you the time when ...

• I was 7 years old and clearly heard an ethereal voice say "Hello Jimmy" after opening my dad's ESP book, thinking to myself, "My goodness, this psychic book really works!"
• I was 16 and my father, and I sent a silent energetic message to my good friend in high school very late at night, so strongly that she called right at that moment with: "You have to stop thinking of me; I have to get to sleep."
  
• In the late 90s, I was in my 30s and I had a super clear dream of an ex-girlfriend standing before me just smiling … this after she had left town on a spiritual journey some four years previous, pretty much acknowledging she would not return. I had let her go in my mind, and hadn’t dreamed of her before. What made this so mind-blowing was that later that same afternoon, I received a phone call from her saying, “Hello, I’m back in San Diego.”
• I was in India in 1996, on my birthday, and I was so wanting a Milky Way bar and even planned to buy one at the market there. It was my birthday after all! I was sharing a room with two other men who had traveled to the same Indian ashram. For some lame reason, I put off buying the Milky Way bar, believing it would be there later. Well, this was India and not a local store in the States. So when I went for my treat, the clerk said he had sold the last one. Oh man, so wrong, so bad, so not celebratory! I said a quick prayer hoping some magic manifestation could happen, and then just put it out of my mind. Later that night after returning to the room, I told my roommate that it was my birthday. He quickly said, “What? It’s your birthday?” And then whisked around lightning fast, singing, lighting a candle and putting it on his most recent purchase ... the last Milky Way bar.
• A few years ago, I had a "reading" from a fairly well-known medium named Thomas John, who looked at me at a book signing event, picked me out of a crowd and said, "Patricia is on the other side?" Yup, my mother. Among offering other impossible-to-know details, Thomas went on to let me know that my mom was saying she used to live at a house that stared with "10." 10? I would have no clue about that. My dad wouldn't be able to know. My aunt Ruby who lived there didn't think that was right at all. My cousins would not recall. It would take an Internet search into the 1940 census to see that it was actually true: 10 Superior Street, De Tour Village, Upper Peninsula, Michigan. No freaking way.
  
• In the early 90s, during a breathwork regression session (called “rebirthing”) I would come to “time travel” to some fascinating, timeless, higher plane, ultimately coming to perceive these bright entities, blue by site, guiding me on this journey. As we traveled over the globe, they would come to rest over my parent's home, revealing which family I would be born to, and which lessons were available. I felt the upcoming painful loss of separating from these loving blue beings, thinking they would not be with me as I lived a partly lonely lifetime. Ah me of little faith. The regression session moved along to have my most little self, laying in a crib, looking upward, beyond the mobile, to see … these loving blue beings smiling down on me.
• On Tuesday, September 11, 2001 it was the middle of the night, and as I laid in my bed in California, I was dreaming. It was a dark dream. It was a nightmare. I was moving along the streets of New York City, down at the foot of these skyscrapers. And it was so sad. This dark energy was all around lurking about. Some nefarious force was hovering on these streets, and I couldn’t tell what it was. All I knew is that it was not good at all. I would wake hours later to a phone call from a friend, crying.

Did I ever tell you the time?

Besides bringing me all his cool and sometimes far-out stories (sound familiar?), my father taught me many things. Most of all he taught me to question everything, especially if it comes from a government narrative, and also to keep an open mind about life. Armed with such, I’ve been able to experience many supernatural things.

Who knows, maybe after all is said and done, the natural world won’t appear very "natural" at all, and it will be those who stretched on this elastic Universal thread to see what’s truly out there, what’s truly possible, and what’s truly real.