Embracing the Sacred, Silly & Serious for the Sake of Sanity
Sunday, December 25, 2022
The Sweetest of Dreams
Monday, December 19, 2022
With Apologies
“One of the very worst uses of time is to do something very well that need not to be done at all.”
― Brian Tracy
Monday, November 28, 2022
Goodbye Beautiful
Upon the passing of a dear friend Lisa Kalison, a celebration-of-life service brought forth her husband Attila Tota, who delivered the most exquisite and transparent delivery of love. One memory stood out to me, as did the last words of a particular story. It sounded so poetic.
She would not let you leave the house so fast
No, that just would not do
An emotion and an experience that was meant to last
A kiss from you to her … and her to you
She’d appeal to you as you took your leave
In a ritual so precious, so rich, so full
A chance to give, a chance to receive
After each kiss: “Goodbye handsome” … “Goodbye beautiful”
Such a custom came from a soul so pure
Not a demand, really, at all
She just wanted to make 100 percent sure
From the front door porch, she would call
You would of course grant her this wish
And return to her in a graceful deed
A kiss neither of you would want to miss
Fulfilling the sentiments of a sacred need
A gesture bringing closer the energy, the life
Mind to mind, lips to lips, eye to eye
The dance of unity, a husband and wife
A parting farewell, a beautiful goodbye
Now, since time has passed, and we have all lost our friend
The rituals turn to something more surreal
Signaling neither the beginning, nor even the end
We embrace a timeless world so real
We’ve had to deal with the parting and the pain
Allowing grief and sadness to have its say
An experience for you, we could never really name
Providing a path for the truth, the life and the way
Seeing the curtain come down one last time
For souls recognizing that which remains full
Reminding us of a reality beyond the borderline
In an everlasting kiss: “Goodbye handsome” … “Goodbye beautiful”
Tuesday, November 15, 2022
Sweet Mackenzie
with elegance and grace
she speaks of the disgrace
the loss of "who I am"
the masks of who we've been
with truth and honesty
she plants the seed of purity
the spark that leads to flame
no longer carrying the shame
she cares not how long it took
she is, as always, an open book
since 18, working hard to free
“something devastatingly wrong with me”
nothing Ritalin, coke or drugs could cure
to carry on - wanting something sure
needing others to say she’s OK, a church without a steeple
finding out … hurt people hurt people
a missing father figure in a physical form
untreated narcissism, substance abuse – a perfect storm
they were mad at her for telling what he did
protecting the perpetrator, keeping it all hid
a victim silenced, don't say anything
high on arrival … becomes hopeful healing
the realization she is her mother's daughter, no less
she need not identify with the ugly and the darkness
she could choose who she is to be
finding the identity of the one … “it's me”
no longer desperate to be believed
not needing someone to be furious at … now relieved
forgiveness isn’t about cosigning, nor about not being pissed
it’s reclaiming the you that you’ve dearly missed
with joy, light, elegance and grace
she speaks of a past disgrace
the retrieval of "who I really am"
the release of what has never been
the spark that ignites the highest flame
no one will ever be the same
it matters not how long it takes
the book and the door is open, for all our sake
since a child, she has worked hard to set free
the one heart, the one soul … sweet Mackenzie
Friday, November 11, 2022
Her Name Was Vernay
I was inspired to write this for my first tenant I had after I inherited an initial tenant who wasn't so kind. Ever since her, I haven't been able to find anyone who matched the level of mutual respect. Keep your awesome renters, and friends, near and dear.
Her name was Vernay
I can recall to this day
No words here I could say
No matter, no matter – come what may
In a world not always so kind
Where a favorite word is “mine”
Where the blind lead the blind
And where trust is so hard to find
It was with her, it could begin
No leverage, no games, no spin
It can all be … simply … effortlessly … win-win
From the very start until the farewell end
I can recall to this day
Her name was Vernay
They would play games of the mind
And later swiftly leave me behind
Trying their best to place me into a bind
“Hey – you’re supposed to offer us cable”
But that was never on the table
They came up with various sorts of fables
Pushing me to do whatever I was able
They opposed this new landlord without a care
Huh - I just wanted to move forward … honest and fair
An adjacent home, with separate entrances we could share
Yet they mainly only offered a trickster’s dare
A sweet woman who would be living alone
I’d make sure to cut the grass that so high had grown
We clicked as if our personalities had already been known
For each other, we both did whatever we could do
Her mother visited, and it was like my relative too
She offered to take in my trash bins – the green, gray and blue
Needs were never bothersome, opportunities were always new
This woman was not just a tenant, or a source of some cash
Nor some supplemental income I could come across fast
But rather a pleasant cohort willing to take off the mask
In a friendship, with mutual respect, that would surely last
On some level it’s like we were sister and brother
Never trying to trick, manipulate or outdo each other
A sort of connection that could always offer cover
In a world where selfish needs lead the isolated along
In a society where few community members belong
In a life where relationships are less right than wrong
On a globe where the humble are not considered the strong
In a world filled with numero unos trying to get their way
Guarding their empires, keeping everyone else at bay
Scared, hidden, bitter, divided, betrayed
I can recall another sort of relationship still alive today
Within the glory of the life, the truth and the way
Even in spirit, even in distant memories, we will stay
I can recall to this day
Her name is Vernay
Her name is Vernay
Monday, October 31, 2022
Delicious Enlightenment
You never know where magic is going to come from in this wonderful world. Sometimes it could even come at a trip to the store for a treat.
Come one, come all, and hear the story about a boy and his ice cream.
This is not just any sort of ice cream. This is the Jolly Llama brand of diary-free, gluten-free, coconut cream, caramel chocolate chip cones. You know the type with the chocolate chunk at the bottom of the pyramid cone?
This delightful delight was first encountered by this boy – OK, it was me – about two years ago when my wife introduced it to me. I was transfixed by the flavor and higher purpose.
And OK, maybe I’m not a boy, but the giddiness and joy I feel when I treat myself to such a treat, is timeless and boundless. How delicious could enlightenment get?
You think I exaggerate?
Just ask my wife when these are OUT of stock at the local store, and when we discover that they are indeed IN stock. It can go from extreme disappointment to utter glee. And let me tell you, it’s not routinely the case that the glee comes. These days, the stores are rarely stocking these llamas. Oh sure, the vanilla ones or the pink or light brown or orange ones may be in the freezer section, but rarely do we get the taste of enlightenment, chocolate flavored.
We happen to know the manager of a small deli in Mission Valley who would put in special orders for us, and it was normally hit and miss. “They are out of stock for two weeks. Come back next Saturday.”
Because of my intense desire for enlightenment, my mind stays focused on the goal. It’s almost like a meditation; my mind gets so laser-beam. The result is we have found one store in the La Mesa area (NO, I will not tell you which one) that regularly carries this ice cream. We have gone a bit out of our way on occasion to travel to this store.
It was on the last visit where the true magic happened. And I believe there is a great lesson in it for me … and for others if they are interested.
While my wife started in on other shopping, I approached the store entrance and bolted back to the freezer section where I knew they held the ice cream. I was filming the occasion to share with a friend interested in eating healthier desserts. I was in a great mood for various reasons, one to do with the treat but also because of other good stuff going on in my life. As I rushed up to the section of the freezer, I built up the suspense for my friend saying, “Here it comes….” Just as I came to the row where the Jolly Llamas reside, I saw clearly: they are out of stock! An empty shelf!
I kept the video rolling, and just finished it off with “dammit!”
See HERE
Dismayed but not destroyed, I kept my good mood intact. Sometimes in the past when I got upset about “missing out,” I went to a low place with thoughts such as:
- “Oh no, I’m too late.”
- “I knew it!”
- “I waited too long and now I’ve made a big mistake.”
- “What a bummer!”
Well, it may be because I was in such a good mood (and that it was merely a dessert) that the past distressing thoughts didn’t arrive too powerfully in my mind. I stayed upbeat and continued on my way to find Jennifer in the store. As I let her in on the bad news, just then, a young lady worker Ashlin turned the corner. For some reason, in a happy place, I chose to interact and have some lighthearted banter with her. In an overly dramatic fashion, I let her in on the lack of Jolly Llamas in the freezer. To which, she replied, “Let me see what I can do.”
What? Could it be? Could there be a second chance at delicious enlightenment?
It only took her a couple minutes to return from another part of the store and reveal a box of dozens of chocolate Jolly Llamas.
Wow. My first response was of gratitude and happiness. (That’s on video too.)
Next I considered this very real reality: If I would have spiraled into some negative subconscious spin from the past about being “too late,” I would not have been open to seeing this young lady approach with another opportunity. If I would have been defeated, I would not have had the wherewithal to see the victory staring at me in the face.
Perhaps that’s how it happens many times in our benevolent universe.
The issue arises along with a solution. And it’s up to us to stay in the right mind to be able to notice it, and then act on it.
These ice creams proved to be enlightening indeed.
Sunday, October 23, 2022
I Said Chloe’s Name
A dear friend has a lovely pooch named Chloe who has had some health challenges. Once I saw a Facebook post in which someone said a prayer for her, I was inspired by the phrase she used at a sacred space: "I said Chloe's name." Such a poetic line; such a poetic world.
It’s who we are, it’s how we live
I heard the news, I wanted to give
The social media post said your dear dog was ill
A prayer for all that is peaceful and still
As we join forces with the illumination of God’s will
Into your cup, from divine abundance, we will fill
I went to the altar today, before the candle flame
Into the space, I said Chloe’s name
I said her name so that all could wish the best
For her health, for her vibrancy, for her rest
I said Chloe’s name, and it gave life to the word
The blessings of bounty, we can be assured
By a mere utterance, she was placed into the mind of God
That little rascal with dark curls, that wonderful dog
Healing any conditions, the aches, the owies and the pains
Glady, and with exuberance, I said Chloe’s name
And so here we stand, as concerns shift to care
Of the path of heart and healing, we are aware
Perfect health in all its forms - spirt, body and mind
For those who remember the power of simply being kind
And giving to those in need when it’s time to say a prayer
Standing strong in faith, as concerns shift to care
Surely yet humbly … happy that up to this alter I came
So that I could speak into the space … I said Chloe’s name
I said Chloe’s name
Tuesday, October 18, 2022
Hennessy – Come To Me
We lost our dear Hennessy in June 2021. Yet the desire for connection lives on.
We keep the toys that carry so many joys
With some, somehow, still making noise
Memories last beyond the distant past
Recalling how all of our characters were cast
Us in the front seat, you in the backseat
Surely, making every one of us complete
Words we’d repeat when we would meet
Touch, sit, catch, and keeek – keeek - keeek
Feeling free, bending down to a knee
Calling out your name, “Hennessy – come to me”
Left behind, a puzzle piece never to find
Forever missed, forever in our mind
Wanting to rewind, time and space are not kind
Reaching out for a mystic reading or a sure sign
The loving presence is here, that we do not fear
It’s just that the physical touch is not near
The journey of the daily walk, the two-way talk
Living without that is a devastating shock
They tell us to trust, I imagine that we must
Yet still calling out, “Hennessy – come to us”
So we go our way, living onward day to day
Recalling beautiful memories on this – your birthday
How you’d never stay but like to tug-of-war play
Proceed to open gifts not sent to you, anyway
How you would frustrate when we would meditate
Through the door you would no longer hesitate
Perhaps beyond this plane, you will remain
Where we all three will remember our names
In dream-states and love-scapes free, we’ll know where to be
Where maybe, just maybe, you call out … “Come to me”
Sunday, September 18, 2022
Such Is The Life
This is not a piece of prose about the abuse victim or the censored patriot, or the obvious analogy between the two, but rather the failure of the abuser who wants to silence the accuser coming back into his or her own power.
With the touching in secret places where they don’t belong
Nothing - nowhere - no-how – it’s all just so wrong
But are they the “problem children” speaking up when others won’t?
Or are they the ones screaming for fairness when others don’t?
When silence and stifling are rewarded by the wicked ones
They can’t help but point out what these people have done
They have to fight through the dirty looks, the punishment and the yelling
Such is the result when children are standing up ... and telling
Do they get a kind word, a bended knee, a willing ear, a compassionate hug?
Or simply defensiveness, neglect and the desire to sweep it all under the rug?
Such is the life for the misused, abused, the ones who are still aware
Carrying the burden and weight of the knowledge when no one else will care
Such is the life for those who speak up when others want to shut them down
As they wander lonely halls of the home, praying for an angel to come around
Such is the life for the ones who will speak no matter how much they are shamed
Gathering even more faith in something invisible they cannot even name
Similarly, so it is for those who speak to tyrants – truth to power
To those mask-wearing suits who are nothing more than spineless cowards
The wicked return, but not as the abuser but rather the accuser pointing at us
To save face, to stay in control, to remain detached, they do what they must
But once more, do we go quiet, do we just let it all fall, and stay still?
Or is there another undenied authority, emerging through divine will?
No matter the source, we are true to course, and take the slings and arrows
As the path before us, and the evil, narrows and narrows and narrows
Until there is a single way – one of peace, love, unity and light
We can rest assured – we were faithful – we fought the good fight
Such is the life – we have made the choice to live for the good of all
Knowing that it is possible to return to the garden after the fall
The fake leaders? They will go their way, and fade away, learning what they must
We release their strategy of trying to divide and conquer, creating enemies out of us
We choose liberty, inalienable rights, freedom of assembly and speech
Learning for ourselves about all those things we came here to teach
No preaching now, we have history and destiny on our side
Such is the life, such is life – we recognize the truth we no longer need to hide
Such is the life, the wounded child is rescued by our maturity, and by the Christ
Now as adults united – we take every wrong of the past ... and make it right
Wednesday, August 17, 2022
Sehra Did
A lovely gal doing a simple act, a good deed in a weary world.
I went up to the president of a non-profit organization bringing my view of something that was amiss, hoping she would understand. She did not.
But Sehra did.
I went to an old friend who let me down recently, to communicate my disappointment, hoping he would understand. He did not.
But Sehra did.
I went to 100 other people over 20 years wanting their receptivity and an understanding of what transpired, but only got their defensiveness, their excuses and their denial. I was hoping they would receive my expression. They did not.
But Sehra did. Yes Sehra did.
On one day in June, 18-year-old Sehra from Encinitas was celebrating her graduation day. My girlfriend and I were driving up the 5 Freeway and decided to stop by her mom’s house, visit a bit, give Sehra a greeting card and a hug or two. What happened was the distracted Sehra spent more time focused on the Internet rather than her visitors. Even after her mother asked her to put the Internet away and be respectful to the two in the room, Sehra continued to focus her attention on the computer screen.
Taken aback a bit, my girlfriend and I realized later how that didn't sit right with us. You know how it goes sometimes, the delayed response? Well, we wanted to say something - how that didn't feel right with us, how it felt disrespectful. Now given the history of simply trying to express a view to friends, given the history of taking communication classes that teach not to "judge," given the years of being faced with defensiveness within those we are wanting understanding, it would have been easy to give up on the situation. You know - just do what millions do across the war-torn field of misunderstandings. Just go mum, carry resentment, and slowly allow the relationship and friendship to just die away.
But we love Sehra too much. And so we approached her - open expression, allowing our disappointment to come through.
What hundreds have not been able to muster over years of attempted communication, Sehra was able to do. Humbly, and with the grace of a pure heart, Sehra responded ... with:
- An "I'm so sorry"
- An "I realized what I had done after you had left"
- An "I love you guys"
Very simply, very bravely, very … innocently.
Can it be so hard to find such humility in the face of a possible conflict or confrontation of egos? Many of the adults - possibly hoping to save face or not feel toxic guilt within them - simply choose defense. In moments of accountability, when someone drops the ball, makes a mistake that impacts another, or otherwise blows it, they are asked to be big enough to own their part, offer a humble expression of regret, gift some appreciation for the other speaking up, and perhaps offer something in return to restore the good relations.
In those moments, many cannot.
But Sehra did.
Yes, Sehra did.
Jim Ellis is a writer and filmmaker living in Lemon Grove, California.
Sunday, August 14, 2022
The Other Side of the Sun
After loved ones pass away, a myriad of thoughts come along.
Tell me where do they go – my friends who were here with me
People tell me to let them go, let it flow, let it be
Tell me of a heaven in the skies, tell me all of those lies
I want to know where the angel of death lands and then flies
The mystery of death is a door with cracked streams of light
The mystery of death may just reveal the mystery of life
So pull back the curtain, unveil the veil
Disclose the final scene of every fairy tale
Roll that bolder away from the secret cave
I want to know - where are Christiane, Steve, Jullya and Dave?
Is it the haven where angels sing a perfect tune?
The land where every sin has been undone?
Is it the dark side of the moon?
Or ... is it the other side of the sun?
Tell me where do they go – the souls who used to walk and talk
And eat and drive and play, and stop and start
They would speak on the phone and then gather for dinner
And watch TV sports – consoling the loser, celebrating the winner
They would gather at parties, and have fun out on the town
They would play the roles of competitor, collaborator and class clown
They were, in the end, someone that no one could save
I want to know – where are Christiane, Steve, Jullya and Dave?
Is it a heaven where all have reserved a mansion room?
The kingdom where the Divine reunites with everyone?
Is it the dark side of the moon?
Or ... is it the other side of the sun?
The other side of the sun
Wednesday, July 20, 2022
The Sun Shines
The sun shines, it shines, it’s all it ever does
The sun’s identity – all it is and all it ever was
Remains … it remains … never restricted or restrained
Never lessoned, never censored, never detained
No matter day or night in some other distant land
No matter what astronomers come to understand
No matter clouds that come to block radiant rays
No matter the history found in the ancient of days
The sun shines, it shines, though planets may make their move
There is no need to justify, no one to convince, nothing to prove
The sun shines
Right there, at your own center … your love is the same
No matter the bitter blows that arrive in this mystery shitshow
No matter the barriers and roadblocks that come and go
No matter the manipulation of mind, the raping of souls
No matter the gradual deterioration, or the moss that grows
It is there to be known, to be expressed, not repressed
Even if distress covers the light with a murky and muddy mess
Your love shines, with no need to impact or impress
But simply because at your genesis, you were blessed
The love shines
A divine union created from the one sure bond
No need for magic wand, just a magician with a miracle to bring
A path you veered from, a song you forgot to sing
But it is not ever truly lost, it cannot be
As long as you have a heart longing to be free
As long as your soul is intact, at the center of your self
As long as love’s warmth allows the hardened ice to melt
As long as every lie you learned is released into mist
Making way for the light that illuminates you in eternal bliss
The sun shines
The sun shines