The Greatest Impact Of All

Driving one day, I thought of how much I loved some of those I have lost, and how much this world seemed so meaningless compared to the truth underneath it all. I pictured the impact that politicians and Hollywood stars have on our lives, and then juxtaposed that against the impact of true friends and family. I just had to laugh and start envisioning a piece of prose...

The ultimate, the highest, the greatest impact of all 
It is not found upon this planet, so very small  
The building of Atlantis was really no big deal 
With everything now underwater, even pillars of steel
Pyramids still stand, yet they bring power in from the sky
Indeed, where is the value from birth until we die?
Where do we point towards a great influence, a grand plan?
Could it even originate from what is built by woman or man?
Arenas for epic competitions hold the theater of the day
We watch on through commercials to see the grown men play  
News and entertainment are fed to us, hungry lizards that we are
Towers fill downtowns, a great wall visible from the stars    
And yet, another invincible skyscraper could surely stumble and fall
What is the ultimate, the highest, the greatest impact of all? 
 
Like the off-key found on an out-of-tune song
A loved one collapses, breaks a hip, and is too soon gone 
A loving pooch must be put to rest on the saddest, saddest day
There are no words for such heartache, there is nothing really to say 
A void remains where once grace promised it would last 
Earthquakes of loss leave buildings and bodies burned – ash to ash
So where is the worth; why do we live; what is the use?
God’s mysterious way? God’s secret will? Just another damn excuse 
But carry on, I guess we shall, I guess we must 
Looking for purpose through the trouble and rubble – dust to dust
Those making the rules, control the masses and wield all the power
As politicians rise, the populace divides, reacts, attacks, and cowers
Until the pendulum swings, and the people remember the silent call
Perhaps from the ultimate, the highest, the greatest impact of all
 
It is born of creation, as below so it is from above 
Forever to come from the source that is love
It is born of creation, as below so it is from above 
Forever to come from the source that is love
 
It is love my friend; it is love that ushers in all the meaning
Giving presence and life to every single human being 
From a foundation of rock, invisible to the naked eye
To the building of a true home … a haven in the sky
The infinite discovered as we pull on that inner thread
Dipping down into the heart, moving away from the head 
Entertained not by actors feigning passion, as in a show
But rather amused by family and friends who we truly know
No sports trophies or academy awards hold any value now
No standing ovation, no curtain call, no curtsy or bow
Just eternal sweet memories that gently float on by
Just the halo aura bright and the glimmer in the eye
In a Garden of Eden after genesis and before the fall 
Now we come to embrace the absolute, the greatest impact of all 

Born of creation, as below so it is from above 
Forever to come from the source that is love
Forever to be seen from spirit’s highest view
Where no one and nothing dies, and where everything is new
Where towers are not built on sand, but on a steadiness sublime
Where powers do not come from man, but from the sacred divine
The true celebration, the force from above 
Forever to flow from the source that is love

Final Reunion

After a poignant conversation with my wife about our dearly loved pet Hennessy, and the loss experienced there, I had this sense of longing for reunion. I imagined being able to run towards each other again and remain there. Is there such a reality where we never have to part with loved ones? 

A farewell song as we all march along

Once a waltz, a dance, a chance to move from me to we  

Now walking aimlessly in the street

So incomplete

Kneeling, a heart bleeding for thee

Looking skyward as the rain thumps down

Tears mixing with drain water on the ground

You were here, but now you’re gone

A final goodbye as I move along 

Alone

Desperate for the memory of union

Searching for … the final reunion

We laughed, we played, we knew the way

We talked about nothing, and it made sense

Jokes made at our own expense

It didn’t matter – nothing that we could say

Could ever take away

Or replace 

That which we held sacred every day

Only death, the final farewell

The veil, the curtain, hiding heaven and hell

Stripping us of our home in union

Destroying all hope in a final reunion

The final reunion

The last time we have to part

The final reunion

The backtrack to the very start

The final reunion

No more leaving, no more grieving

The final reunion

No doubt remains in our believing

You run back to me as in a dream

It’s just like it has always been

A dance, a chance

For love’s curtain call … a call for faithful stance

Like a puppy greeting the wayward traveler at the door

I rush eagerly towards the love of my life

I recall what this love and this pain are for

The loss, the longing, the union

The cost, the belonging, the reunion

The sweetest of reunions

One that is, alas, final – the last of its kind

As we reunite in heart, soul, and mind

Finally knowing what was yours and ours … is mine

As everything dissolves in the mist of space and time 

In a final rhyme 

A farewell song as we all sing along

Now a grand waltz, a dance, a chance to truly see 

Now joining in celebration in the streets

Whole and complete

Kneeling, in prayer, a heart open to thee 

A Vision of the Golden Time - It's Called Love

Note: The following is an excerpt from the book Starting Point; A Guide to Metaphysics, the Golden Time and Love. This was from my first book written in - gulp - 1989. Wow - 33 years ago, back when the "New Age Movement" was all aflutter. Interestingly enough, many of the predictions in the book are coming to fruition as the globe goes through its growing pains, and interestingly enough "love" continues to be one of the main answers to our problems. 

Love and compassion. That's what we must talk about.

 

The trend, the push, the striving must point toward loving our fellow friends of the planet. The real goal is to reach a point at which you can see the Divine intermingling throughout everything, wherein you must act in accordance with your newfound knowledge. The idea says: You will act out of a kind heart … not because you have to, but because that will be the only action possible. It will be the only action that coincides with logic, emotion, belief and truth.

 

Underneath all the novelties and oddities of what some call a "New Age" is a beating, blossoming heart, an awakening to the deepest reality inside of us: love and compassion. This, my friend, is what's really important here.

 

First of all, we'll need to know about this "compassion." It's been defined before: empathy for others; doing onto others; displaying a social consciousness; showing concern and hope for the welfare of all – people, animals, our air, our planet, our universe.

 

I tend to put compassion in heroic terms, but I can see it another way too. Compassion: not slamming the door on anyone, even the pushy salesman; helping up the fallen soccer player; treating the patron with fairness and honesty, not deception; acting on the understanding that everyone and everything counts in this world. In short, compassion can be defined as "actively expressed love."

 

Yes; and then there's love. Oh my, here is my favorite subject. 

Love is this light inside of you, a light incomparable, that shines in the eyes and the heart. It is a light that is always there, but one that is often veiled by our fear, worry, guilt and hate. If discovered inside, it can break the barriers between you and others. It can tear down the walls; it can release the old you to give birth to a new you. Love is that power that brings people together in empathy and sympathy, a power that fuses hearts together.

 

But many times the lessons of love can be a pain. This is because we have to first learn what love isn't. The ride definitely can get rough, as we discover the dark, hidden aspects of ourselves that would prevent that love from shining: the egos, the fears, the pride, the jealousies, the controls. Through all the troubles and the heartaches and the power struggles, we may even forget that a true, higher love exists.

But ultimately we always come back to it. We have to. It's what we were born to do. The higher love is like the Sun hidden by clouds. If allowed to break through the haze, love can shine a light that will raise you up, higher ever higher. Like the Sun, it will influence everything it shines upon. Your thoughts will be lighter; your emotions will reach a peak level; your physical senses will intensify; your concern and compassion will propel to new heights. Basically, with love you are released to think positively, feel ecstatic and grow spiritually. Everything and everyone around you will be blessed by your newfound energy.

 

Many times, we leave it up to another person to act as the catalyst to spark the light inside of us. At this highest point of ecstasy – that which is called "falling in love" – we experience the release and the realization of a Divinity Within. Here, love isn't an emotion or a decision or a thought; it is a realization and an expansion.

 

You have unconditional compassion and care for your significant other. You want the best for each other. It's not that you feel "needy" for another person, just sadness when separation limits the chances to share. In love, you experience an expansion within the heart. The heart is opened, and a Divine Energy is allowed to flow free.

 

At these glorious times, you feel on top of the world, like all of creation is in perfect alignment. The world is brighter. You see a typo in the newspaper and think: "Oh well, I'm sure the editor was tired." You open a flat 7 Up, and you tell it: "You know, you'll do better next time." When engulfed in love, there is no traffic, no ornery red lights, no nagging commercials.

You get a new heart when in love. All the old troubles are gone. Your hair doesn't bug you anymore; your brothers don't bug you. All the slights and fights are of the past, forgiven. For that "in love" time, all the trespasses against your old heart are erased.

 

Only love is there. But it has always been there. Waiting for you to discover it. People complain that this "falling in love" isn't real because it doesn't endure. People say this form of love – this euphoric, ecstatic, consuming love – doesn't last for long, maybe three months and then the honeymoon is over. They wonder what went wrong, why the love ended. But this impermanent quality to romance and love is more of an indication of human limitation than a testament to the power of God and love. Relationships and attractions are temporary. Objects of love can come and go, but the capacity to love stays with you forever.

 

The trick to life is to associate your love with something other than an attraction, a novelty, another body. We must identify our love with that which never fades away. We must fall in love with the deeper parts of a partner. We must fall in love with life, nature, the Force behind it all.

 

When you can find the forever love within, you must be vigilant and diligent in keeping it alive. When you can find it in you, you'll see it in others too. And this awareness will automatically restrict you from bringing any harm to others. You won't have to think about the decision to give or take, hurt or help. The only action consistent with your inner being will be to assist and uplift others. When the inner light is finally turned on, it can be projected out for everyone else to see. Love can be nurtured, and then beamed like a light unto the people of the world.

 

You see, love comes from that pure, uplifting energy of God that lives within us all ... and before we can share this, we must find it ... we must be it. 

The time is coming when we will all be able to discover that love within. This blossoming will bring the bright future so many of us talk about. It will bring a new age or what I like to call the "Golden Time."

 

At its heart is a bonding that will bring together people of different backgrounds and faiths, all under one umbrella. Just as we feel an unquestioned desire to love all in our genetic family, we will feel the same sort of wish to love all people of the Earth, our planet's family. We will go beyond all the distractions and decisions that are presently being slammed into our face and that are presently rushing up from an inner wound. 

 

The Golden Time will see each family member opening up to an enlivened heart and a Higher Mind, both showing a connection to our fellow humans, our home planet and the Divine mingling throughout it all. A burgeoning compassion will usher in the changes for a future in which the real power transfers from governments and mankind to the all of our true inner nature and the Divine Creator itself.

 

That's how one man sees the Golden Time, a New Age, anyway. 

An excerpt from the 1989 book Starting Point; A Guide to Metaphysics, the Golden Time and Love, found HERE. 

 

The Imminent Dawn

I woke up one morning with a topic in mind, and once I realized it might need some explanation, I figured I should write a poem about it.  For, the light is coming ... the light is here.

How could it arise – how could it be?

When we are so enslaved in the land of the free

When left is right and right is wrong 

How could it ever come – the long-awaited dawn

The night is here, there is everything to fear

No longer holding holy that which is near and dear 

Fights fill the angry streets and social screens 

Echoing down the path: silent, invisible screams

Brother against sister – no commentary is safe 

Centrifugal force enlists all community hate  

Separation in desperation shapes our nation’s fate

Gone is the free marketplace and collegiate safe space

Just a rolling dark thunder, that rolls on and on and on

And perhaps just a promise someday of a forgotten dawn

 

We lost ourselves in the bitterness of past slights

And the slow-motion evaporation of sacred civil rights 

Like steam from sewers, the media broadcasts “the truth”

Opportunists break into Targets for the latest and greatest loot

In charge of law and order – could it be the great deceiver?

Violence is forgiven if it soothes the politician's fever

Police take cover from enemies, both foreign and domestic 

Policies promote the pathological and the pathetic 

Mandates create havoc, decimating fortunes and lives

All in the name of “democracy,” allowing the tyrants to thrive 

The darkness has come; it whispers in ear the sweetest lie

With promises all will be well … if we surely, simply, comply

Yet, inkling of doubt spreads among those no longer playing along 

The first indication … of the imminent dawn

 

For deeper frequencies shall unite, in the fight for what is right

Below the surface will emerge the most effervescent light

A foundation – reflected in a strong constitution and unifying force

Recalibrating the navigation that has taken us all off course 

We will all be responsible for the truce – both inner and outer 

The false shall bend to the voice of truth – now so much louder 

No longer “up is down” for such nonsense is for circus clown

No longer “bad is good“ for goodness shall certainly be found

No longer “war is peace” for the peaceful shall truly be restored

No longer “power through force” as humility will lay down the sword

We shall no longer suffer and struggle through cognitive dissonance

We shall align instead with one power, born of one resonance

And so it shall be for the faithful, as it has been in eternity … on and on 

As we welcome … gloriously … the imminent dawn

The imminent dawn

The First Christmas Without You

It was Cambay Lane. 

That was my home ... for as long as I can remember. 

My father purchased the house on this new tract in Huntington Beach in 1959. He didn't even plan to buy property; he wasn't in the market. But some visiting friends convinced him to take a trip from his apartment in Redondo to tour around. He tagged along just for the heck of it. 

From there, he would be the only one who made the leap, one of the original home owners on this block. It was here that he lived - raising a family with a wife Patricia and their three children: Mary Lynn, Jimmy, Kathy. It was here that the Ellises really took root. It was here where I would be raised, along with my sisters. It was here that I would co-create memories to last a lifetime. 

And it was here that my mom would pass in 2014 and here where my father would spend his final days, departing March 15, 2021.

All those years, all that time, all the holidays, all those Thanksgiving dinners, first in the dining room, then spreading out to the living room once the spouses and extended family and nephews and nieces came along. 

For as long as I can remember, this was the epicenter for family. Though I would move to San Diego in 1990, the same year Kathy married Norman and moved out, this was still where the heart was. This was where the memories were created and where they still reside:

• The basketball backboard and games of "H-O-R-S-E"
• The tennis ball against the garage door with the slats, making the rebound ricochet away
• The Saturday nights in the living room with Mary Tyler Moore, Bob Newhart and Carol Burnett 
• The lunch meals of Campbell's soup as Kathy and I sat on the floor, with General Hospital on in the background 
• The trackball sessions down the hallway
• The pickle, red-light-green-light and hide-and-seek games out front on the lawn with the Ewalds, the Lappins, the Utslers, the Meads and of course my best friend Jamie Jordan
• The Christmas tree all lit up, with the TV - for once - being turned off
• That silence, that sweet silence with the only sound a fireplace crackling and the warm hum of family connection

So many memories. Way too many to count. 

And so much love. Way too big to comprehend.

And, finally, so much loss, when time and space calls for an end. 

For this will be the first Christmas without you. 

Without you Dad, as you chose to move on to that other home known in antiquity through angelic hosts on high. Without you Kathy and Norman, as you moved yourselves to Indiana shortly after Dad passed. Without you niece Grace and husband Cody plus Abigail, as you moved away as well. Without you nephew Emmett, and wife Amy plus Elijah and Hannah, taking a new home and state too. Without you Tess, wherever you may be, in your endeavor to be free. And without you Jamie Jordan, who tragically and suddently departed as well, on into the mysterious unknown.

This year saw many losses - not only my father's passing, but the remainder of my family moving out east. 

This will be the first holiday without these family members right here in living color, in person, right here in physical presence, enjoyed by my wife and myself in our trips to Orange County. 

Even the home on Cambay Lane sold in August. After 59 years, it now belongs to another family, with a couple of young children, ready to create memories of their own, with their own games on that lawn, and their own best friends they may treasure as time moves along. 

Sure, my extended family will have our Zoom meetings, waving hello with the obligatory "how are yous." We will have emails and texts and gifts sent through the mail. 

And that will be fine for now.

But the loss is real, and it will be something I will need to feel. And express, in my own way. 

And the best thing of all - we will have our memories. The echos of children laughing and playing outside, the glow of the TV reruns with a family laughing out loud, enjoying each other's company, the meals shared as a Christmas tree glimmered its gold, frankincense and myrrh. 

On some level, it will always be our Cambay Lane. 

I will embrace the beauty and wonder of a love, as much magical and it is undefinable.

It will there ... in a sacred place ... for as long as I can remember. 

Circa 1998, the Ellis, Kellogg and Slusher collection 

(Photo by Norm; Camera shy Michael)

Into Eternity I Enter

 

 

A romantic love poem for my wife Jennifer. 

Memories arrive at the front door of my mind

A lake’s eternal rippling rings, the echoes of time 

Did we ever really part … from that very first union?

Did we ever really start … was there need for reunion?

Was there ever a moment, where our souls did not show? 

Was there a time, of your splendor, I did not know?

Was there ever a struggle of conflicting give and take?

Or did we simply surrender to the One … for God’s sake?

Oh no, lines blur for the true receiver and sender

It is at this time … into eternity I enter

 

Memories arrive at the front door of forever 

It’s as if we have always been here together 

Memories of absolute glee, bouts of deep and lasting laughter

Lombardy trophies and Stanley Cups we went after

Wild rides through the sexual landscape of adventures

Vegas, Magic Mountain, Knotts, a cruise with World Ventures

Ammachi, Victoria BC, Indian food in Big Bear 

Countless oils, remedies, and meals … given with your care

Freedom For All, 1000 Breaths, engaging gatherings at the home

A wedding or two for the committed, never to be left alone 

A vow and ceremony would burst forth a new birth

Saying goodbye, for now, to some we knew on this earth  

On mystical levels, on walks and talks, we will always be 

With that regal, smarty-pants one we know as Hennessy

In your yoga, we find shanti, namaste and our truest center

It is at this time … into eternity I enter

 

For here we are – two solar systems searching for the sacred star 

And to think, at no time, did we ever have to travel far

The path was created by the Divine; we simply found our way

And even through upset, stress, and fear, we will not stray 

Led through your giving, your sharing, your sweetness, your beauty 

A true heart, a true love, a real blessing, a real cutie

The practical one whose deep waters run romantic

Echoed through this poet’s wordsmithing semantics 

Long ago ... or in this eternal moment ... we made a choice

To follow a Christed direction and the angel’s loud voice 

A couple, riding the waves, in tandem, in communion 

Removing ourselves from dim caves of darkness and delusion 

So, did we ever really start … was there really a reunion?

Did we ever really part … from that very first union?

Will there ever be a place, where our spirits do not go?

Will there ever be a time, of our light, we do not know?

Neigh, we follow the echoes of time, the ripples on the surface lake

We fall into the arms of the One … for God’s sake

Yes, we make the smart move, into the sweetest of sweet surrender 

As we awaken and realize, at this time … into eternity we enter

 

The Beast

I thought the phrase "Don't feed the beast" was original when I thought of it. Alas, it's pretty common. So after changing the poem's title, I let it flow, as I enjoyed this ancient theme. 

You don't know his image, you don't know his name
Yet he influences your life ... just the same
He broadcasts TV news, and songs from the devil's muse
Yet he will promise safety and comfort – that is the ruse
He undertakes clandestine deeds, from sunset to sunrise 
You share some daily views ... that is the surprise 
He resides in the outer world, creating madness and mayhem 
He reflects the mirror of inner worlds – in every woman and man
You have known of the legacy, you surely know the folklore
The beast is always hungry; the beast needs more
And more
 
The beast needs to consume every day and every night
The beast needs to ground every heavenly flight
The beast needs to sear every ear, and blind all eyes 
The beast thirsts for the blood on the battlefield of lies 
The beast is your friend right up until the end of time
Until he takes everything that is yours, ours, and mine
The beast sits in waiting behind every darkened door
The beast is always hungry; the beast needs more
More and more
 
And where is this hunger satisfied and how is he fed?
Be astonished, the source rests upon your bedfellow’s bed
Like sugar for cancer, he eats treats for sweet diseases
Like water damage in hidden crevice, he does as he pleases
Your anger is his appetizer, it garners his fine favor 
Your addictions to gluttony, booze and blow he loves to savor
Revenge, suppression, and enmity help fulfill his demands
Procrastination and porn call out for idle hands
Just as theft and taxes feed the famished government machine
Just as false prophets soil the sacred into the obscene
Just as flies venture into spider webs only to be caught
We must awaken to the folly of the dance that must stop
Must stop!
 
The beast has needed to consume every day and every night
The beast has desired to ground every heavenly flight
Yet, the beast collapses, defeated, when abandoned on distant shore
The beast will not be hungry when there is nothing more
The beast will succumb – left deaf, blind and dumb
When you stop in your tracks, and choose … to cease to run
The beast will starve when he is no longer provided his share 
Poisoned by the illumination that comes from your self-care 
Lick the wound, heal the heart, unite in light, soothe the sore
And then study war, draw swords, and feed the beast no more
No more
No more