This is Men! Real Men

Ok, one more about hockey. Though, as you can tell by now, my stories aren't about the surface topic. Though we'll start there.

This one is about men. Real men. Now for those of you who may think this topic sexist or old-fashioned or silly, you may be right ... and you can excuse yourself if you want. 

Back to topic, where else will you find some examples of real men but - where else - NHL Hockey?

Here is the scene. It's the first game of the Stanley Cup Finals between the New York Rangers and the LA Kings in 2014. Uber LA defenseman Drew Doughty believes he has been intentionally banged with the end of a Ranger's stick. On the bench he pleads his case with the officials getting visibly upset. Two of his teammates, Matt Greene to his left and Jeff Carter on the ice, attempt to calm down their irate teammate. How do they do it? Gently? Calmly? With the sort of deep empathy and compassion that would soothe Doughty's inner child?

Hell no. 

They let their bud have it. Greene is barking "Come on!" Carter is poking Doughty's arm and jersey. Still in the heat of battle, Doughty then looks over at Carter and jabs his teammate with some strong language. Not a lip reader myself, my guess would be "Shut the F&*# Up!"

Click this link for a view and then come back: CLICK HERE

Now where does the "real man" part come into this story? Not in the strong language or the barking. Not in the emotional upset of any of the players, though this is justifiable for men in battle. Where does the "real man" aspect arise in this scenario?

It's subtle, but it's right there - in Carter - as he skates off. It's right there in the silence of his non-response, in his knowing there is nothing to take personal in Doughty's verbal onslaught. It's in a man who couldn't care less about another's emotions even if they were directed at him. It's in a person who sees through surface feelings and realizes the truth of the moment.

Now I don't live inside Carter's head and don't know if his teammate's words wounded him or not. But I'd put big money down on the fact it didn't reach him one bit.

Warriors have a job. Men on missions have a purpose. And no amount of emotion will sway their purpose.

For you men out there - consider this any time you start to engage with another person's emotional jabs. Consider this any time you take anything personal or choose to be pulled into a fight with, say, a girlfriend or a wife. Would a warrior battle his woman? Would a leader get emotionally tangled by another's supposed attack?

A real man wouldn't even SEE the attack. A man worth his weight would stay on course no matter what is happening around him. No matter the storms of life, a man stays steady with the job at hand. And in the end, when the storms are over, the man may stand proud, with the award raised above his head, as a real man, as a winning warrior, as a triumphant King.


Jim Ellis is an LA Kings fan who is quite proud of all the LA Kings players, especially the likes of Doughty who lets his passion out. More good stuff at LegacyProductions.org.

Top 10 Crazy Things We Do Around NHL Hockey

With the start of the hockey season, we are in full force of pendulum swing emotions, crazed high-fives and some heart-stopping, full-force game-viewing participation. Yup, it gets nuts. So what are just 10 of the crazy things we do around our LA Kings hockey team?

1. Drive in traffic to LA, drop off our dog with pet sitter in a questionable part of town, pay $25 to park and then get best seats where we can hear the cursing.  
2. Hire Bailey the Mascot to come to Lemon Grove near San Diego for Jennifer's birthday celebration.  
3. Give in to superstitions so our team wins, such as wearing Kings' beanie from 1978. (See picture)
4. Get a small game of air hockey to play during the period breaks.
5. Create a Facebook message thread over 1,000 posts long with buds from across Southern California, as we chat during the game.  
6. Invite my men's team over to watch certain games, and serve cookies with the LA Kings logo on them.  
7. Tweet announcers Patrick O'Neal and Jimmy Fox to get some clarity around some plays.
8. Get up at 4 am to make it to Redondo Beach so we can do a run/walk 5k with some of the players ... and their dogs.  
9. Jersey Quick 32 for me; Jersey Kopitar 11 for Jennifer.  
10. Hold breath for 2.5 hours every single game.  

Jim Ellis has liked the Los Angeles Kings ever since he was 9 years old. He even went to the Miracle on Manchester comeback game in 1982. Yes he did. His family can vouch for that. Other topics at LegacyProductions.org.

Capitalism - For Profit or Pigs?

Now I don't pretend to be an economic expert, or someone who really holds an answer to the best socioeconomic infrastructure for our fair land. And I don't know about "isms" such as communism and socialism, which apparently are – from all the public relations media kits – horrible systems that would crush the wonderful free market we enjoy in America today.

But there has got to be something inherently evil in this capitalism thing ... or perhaps it’s just something inherently evil in the humans who would use the system to apply leverage over others less advantaged. 

Yes, leverage. I mean it truly IS a system of leverage right? And – given the proclivities of any of those humans who wield an ego within a societal structure – can such a system ever really work? 

Now again, my brain – it ain’t that big. I don’t understand the ins and outs of our capitalism society, even though my pop was an Economics Major and I have an outrageously high credit score. 

So I just keep it at a simple level for my understanding.

It doesn’t take too much analysis to see that the word “capitalism” has at its root the word “capitalize.” Capitalize? Capitalize on what … and over whom?

We live in a world where the rich get richer and the poor get poorer, and the middle class – normally burdened with the highest tax load – starts to fade from view. This means that some people at the top (the infamous 1 percent) experience powerful leverage over others, as they capitalize on their good fortune.

Now, I’m all for healthy competition and believe hard work should be rewarded. But just like the competition found on the baseball diamond, the football gridiron or the hockey rink, our economic landscape must have hard-and-fast, black-and-white rules and regulations that are applied equally through impartial means. This way, no one agency, person, corporation or monopoly can completely squash competitors because of some unfair advantage.

But who are the referees and umpires within our economic landscape? Are they impartial? And do the laws created here apply equally and to everyone?

I am guessing that the game is rigged. I have a friend who says those wielding power in the business world – the bankers, the mortgage lenders, the politicians – are INDEED living by "The Golden Rule.” And that sounds so incredibly sweet and honorable and loving ... until you hear him define it as “those who have the gold make the rules.”

Such a sick reality is seen clearly when, for example, banks are bailed out with funds supplied by tax money from those ripped off by the poor practices of the same institutions. It’s seen when the common person gets dinged with a financial penalty when they can't afford manditory healthcare, while healthcare CEOs make upwards of $50,000 per day. It’s seen when one pretty-boy pharmaceutical owner chooses to raise the cost of an AIDS medication Daraprim from $13.50 to $750 per pill because he notes how undervalued it has become, and because - well - he can.

I have also run into this imbalance on a very basic and personal level. A simple example comes in bank fees. Whenever we make a mistake on our checking accounts, say in a late payment, we are accessed a $25 to $35 fee by the bank. However, when our banks make a mistake on our account, what fees do they pay?

The game is rigged.

What results have we seen when the leverage is held by those who have climbed up the ladder, through either sheer hard work or a silver spoon leg-up from a family link or a crony member of a “good ole boys club?” The result is the growing gap between classes, as those with the leverage apply it harder and harder and harder, in order to get their way … in order to capitalize.

It’s put well in an October 4 Fourwinds10.com story by freelance writer Jennifer Lea Reynolds: “It's no secret that various industries increase customer pricing so the company can make a profit. That's Economics 101. However, when prices surge so exorbitantly that the average person can barely afford an item while the company walks all the way to the bank, that's Greed 101.”

Whatever label we assign and whatever level we are looking at it, there must be something wrong with a capitalistic system that rests on this strategy: “How can I get the most amount of work out of this person and pay him or her the least amount of money?” Compare that to this strategy: “How can I take the best care of a vendor, employee or consultant who is taking care of me?”

We meet up with the latter consciousness very rarely, perhaps because of being trapped in puny identities as lizard-brain humans with separatist personalities, lowly individual competitors without honor. The idea – at this point in our evolution – that people will rise above their competitive and capitalistic traits and then, just because, be generous and trickle down the wealth to all is ludicrous and naive.

No – there is a conflict of interest in this system. We want the most out of someone and reward them the least in return. This is a system based on separation, a care for the little self, and a disdain for the other. The interests rest with the individual, and not the collective. This is not about a relationship or the trade of goods and services in a win-win, but rather it's about how one person can best USE another for their own sake. At core, it’s rotten. At root, it’s darkness. At the center, it is evil.

It is a haven for the ego to push for its will over the good of another. It’s the prison system where someone dominates over another, calling the shots, having the upper hand, holding the cards, and wielding the weapon.

You have experienced the negative aspect of this system in various ways I’m sure. I have a friend who lives in a rich neighborhood, drives a nice car, has all the money he could need. And even so, instead of paying a Webmaster what he had bid and what he deserved on a web design project, this friend asked, "Can’t you come down in price for me and help me out?"

In his warped haggling, it wasn’t ever going to be about the win-win or the right action born of generosity and an abundant mind. It was all about what he could get for himself regardless of another person’s good. Even after getting an incredible discount on the project, was my friend gracious and full of gratitude? No, that would not be the behavior observed in what could only be called a “capitalistic pig.”

And what does all this come down to? Leverage. There is that word again. That is the bottom line in this capitalistic system, and it does not work. Not in the long run. People who wield leverage will always fight to maintain that leverage. It is what separates them from their brothers and sisters. It is what makes them "powerful," and in the end ... wretched and ruined.

I’m reminded of the bad guys and good guys of the old myths and movies that included a scene involving a duel. Routinely, the scene was set up the same each time, and for dramatic effect. The good guy would be in a sword fight with the bad guy, and the bad guy would accidentally drop his sword. What would the good guy do? He would throw him the sword to continue the battle, on even and fair terms. Then when the good guy dropped his sword, what would the bad guy do? He would totally use that leverage to attempt to kill the good guy. And the viewing audience would feel the rage.

On the deepest level, we know that right action is not based on advantage or leverage, but rather fairness and equality.

So what would work here? I don’t know about an “ism,” but I believe the structure that would ultimately work in any society is one based on an honor system, as we remain in honor and integrity with a higher law – called “natural law." It would be a system based on a unity founded on a common denominator of which no one would rise above in stature, self-interest or entitlement. It would be based on the win-win consciousness where all parties’ needs are considered and covered, where giving equates to having and hording equates to lack, where abundance is found in a flow that starts from within, where a community so aligned in abundance and care would be able to take care of its own … where as Creedence Clearwater Revival sang, “people on the river are happy to give.”

Whereas I may or may not have some of the solution, I do know that the leverage found within a capitalizing society and mentality will not get us to where we want to be. Nor to a place of being who we need to be.

James Anthony Ellis is a writer and producer who isn't sure which "ism" would ever be attached to him. Colloquialism? He can be reached at www.LegacyProductions.org

Wife Appreciation Day - Never Too Late

Last Sunday was "wife appreciation day." Who else missed it? Yup, had this reprint all ready to go, and I let it get by last Sunday. I say it’s never too late to appreciate our wives; let’s make it a continual process eh? Whereas I write many silly things and many serious things, this one comes from the heart.



I Love My Wife Because...

Because

Because

Because there are no words - in this limited language of letters, sentences and punctuation marks - to capture an essence
To capture her

She is free

She can see

The foibles and toils and troubles

She can feel 

What it means to live in a world of foibles and toils and troubles

In anxious anticipation of humanity's underbelly 

And yet

And yet

And yet she is free

She can see

The beauty, and the garden and the love

All that comes to mere humans from above

In the walk through the desert where the promise of hidden creek keeps her on the trail
In the snuggle with a faithful pet who reflects back the beauty of pure relation

In the giggle that recalls the desperate need to mock all that is false

In the intuitive perceptions that crack the porcelain pretense 

In the willingness to give to and be present for others 

The same others who reveal not the same presence, willingness, perception, faith, promise, beauty, feeling, essence
Unconditional

The love

From her

And towards her

Because 

Because 

Because

When Sports and Sportsmanship were Innocent

Kidd to Taylor: "Hit me."

With all the talk at present about Tom Brady and the Patriots' possible tendency to cheat, the author takes a poke at sports and those who cheated in the past ... as well as a peak at a childhood that had to rely on an "honor system." 

When I was a child, we played football out on the recess field.



When I was a child, we had rules like the professionals had – rules such as no holding while blocking a rusher, no off-sides when rushing a passer, and having to catch the ball with two feet in-bounds. Yes, if you had one foot in and one foot out of bounds, the catch was incomplete. Just like the pros. The college teams could have one foot in-bounds and still consider it a catch. But we wanted to be more like the pros. The professionals and all their greatness was something to look up to.



When I was a child, we played by the rules, because that’s just what you did to make the games … well, games.



Of course we had no referees, so we had to play on what they called “the honor system.” Such a system had everyone own the rules on the football field and be responsible for playing fair. It was the right thing to do, it felt good, and we believed it’s what the pros would do.



But that may not be true … right?



Right Mike Tomlin? This is the Pittsburgh Steelers coach who – by accident he says – stepped on the field during a play in the third quarter of the Thanksgiving night's game against the Baltimore Ravens in 2013. The coach lingered on the same sidelines that Raven Jocoby Jones raced along trying to avoid the coach, who later said he was unaware of his placement on the field. What could one expect from a cheater but a lie?



Right Cam Newton? This is the Carolina Panthers quarterback who in a 2013 game flopped to the ground, out of bounds, as he embellished a late hit resulting in a penalty against the Miami Dolphins. The two Dolphins in question did not hit Newton out of bounds, but a flailing and over-dramatic Newton sprawled to the turf before arising with a wide grin on his face.
 
Isn’t that right every punter in the NFL who has ever hoped to draw a penalty flag after pretending to get hit by an opposing player?

And such dishonorable play can even be found in other pro sports … right?

Right Zach Parise? This is the New Jersey Devil left-winger who was hoping no one noticed that his goal came off a deliberate “hand pass” during the Devils’ game versus the Los Angeles Kings in May 2012, even though it’s clearly illegal to score that way.

Right Dewayne Wise? This is the New York Yankee outfielder who, in a June 2012 game, didn’t dispute an errant call that had him mistakenly catching a foul ball. What was all-the-more disturbing was that Wise chose to pretend he did catch the ball, as he secretly – in front of thousands of onlookers and network television cameras – clutched nothing in his glove, and then jogged off the field.

Right Lance Armstrong? This is the world-class bicyclist who was stripped of his seven Tour de France titles and who finally admitted to using performance-enhancing drugs – a secret habit of many a dishonorable cheater in modern-day athletics.

Right Jason Kidd? This is the Brooklyn Nets basketball coach who pretended to drop a cup of soda on the floor in order to manipulate extra time in a game against the Los Angeles Lakers. TV replays caught Kidd telling Nets guard Tyshawn Taylor to "hit me" with 8.3 seconds left in the game. Taylor immediately walked into Kidd who spilled a beverage, forcing the officials to take time to clean up the court while a Nets assistant coach drew up an offensive play in an impromptu huddle. "The cup slipped out of my hand," Kidd told reporters after the game, but later recanted and admitted to the ploy. When Kidd was told of one colleague who grinned with a remark that it was an “expensive” mistake, Kidd, too, smiled.

Smiled. He smiled. Like Cam Newton smiled. Like Mike Tomlin smiled. What is wrong with these professionals, these disgraceful and dishonorable adults who not only place winning over sportsmanship, but cross the limits on more than a simple sideline?

When I as a child, and we played at recess, we had our rules too … and if someone had only one foot in-bounds and he knew it, he did not pretend to get a catch. That would haunt us kids. That would be an empty win. That would simply feel so bad in our head and our stomach.

When I was a child, we played by the rules. We had to. Not because we would be fined or suspended or lose some possible income, but because that’s what you do when you want to play and play in the right way. That’s what you do when you want to win, and win in the right way.

Maybe for these pros – out on the field, the courts, the rinks and the raceways – they can take a cue from an innocent time in the past, when the most important thing was making sure the game was, well, a game.


James Anthony Ellis is a writer and producer living in Lemon Grove. The author of "The Honor Book," he still plays sports games with the men in his international men’s organization MDI, where they normally have refs. He can be reached at www.LegacyProductions.org.

True Care Found in all the Odd Places

All right, this one may seem a bit odd.

 But you're used to that by now from me?

It was a magic moment, and though this may come across sounding silly, this is a true story, and it did mean a lot to me. 



It all happened at the Giant Pizza King place on Federal Boulevard in Lemon Grove. It was here, I found true love.



No, it wasn't the pizza, though I do love this place's pizza. And no this isn't a romantic tale. It's the story of a moment rarely found in this day and age of fast-food, fast-paced, careless crazy inconsideration. 



I think many of us are dead to the truth that deep down all of us do care about each other, with a brotherly and sisterly love. For, many of these feelings and realities exist way below the surface, unknown to the conscious and incapacitated mind. Such moments of recollection have to rush up quickly and in the moment; it's the only place you can glimpse beyond the illusion of the separate world in which we coexist. 



So here's how it went down. It was halftime of the Monday Night Football game. I went down the hill to get a large pizza. It was "take out." I entered the pizza joint, paid my bill, then picked up the pizza box. The gent there had walked away from the counter, as I walked the other direction. Noticing I had accidentally knocked his receipt book on the ground, I leaned down to pick up that book, and just so happened to make a bit of a noise. At that moment, unknowing what was happening with me and apparently believing I may have hurt myself, the gentleman looked over with wide open eyes and a concerned look, asking "Are you ok?" 



I will always remember his face. 



It was filled with true care and consideration. It rushed up onto his face, before he had the chance to think. And that is the key. The true face must exist beyond all thoughts. Was this man concerned for his own self? Was he filled with thoughts that were self-serving, such as "oh no, I hope this doesn't mean I will have to fork out insurance for this man's injury" or "oh no, his injury will preclude him from paying the bill?"  



No. I had already paid the bill. 



His concern wasn't about him. It was about me. It was about another human being, another person whose well-being could matter as much as one's own. Such a care must come in the moment, IN A FLASH, where the care for another goes beyond some selfish thought, generated by ego.



Yes, I saw it. You can't take it away from me. Sure, it is a silly story about a pizza and a receipt book and an errant noise signifying nothing of importance. But the look in the eyes - of unity, connection and mutual care - will always reside with me. And for this I am grateful. 



Thank you Giant Pizza King: for the look of care, the large black olive and mushroom pizza, and a reminder of a unity that will always be cherished. 




Jim Ellis is a writer, producer and pizza fan who can be reached at LegacyProductions.org.

Top 5 Infomercial Gifts I Want Damnit

Staying up late has me watching a few of those infomercials, and man are they convincing!

Especially when they throw in those "If you act now's."

With my birthday coming up in only one month, here are the special TV Infomercial Birthday wishes:



1. The Chillow
  -  It's a pillow that somehow gets cold! Perfect for hot weather. Though fall and winter are upon us. So now it would be good after I run or something.  


2. The Pocket Hose  -  
It's a garden hose that doesn't getting all tangled up but shrivels up into a small ball when you turn the spigot off. Everyone needs this! Admit it.   


3. GripGo Car Phone Mount 
-  This would hold my cell phone in the car near the dashboard so I can always know where it is and feel safe that it ain't lost under the seat again. Vital.   


4. Side Socket
  -  You know how your electric plugs sometimes bump up against your furniture? Ain't that rotten? That's why they made these sockets that twist to the side, and why they'll send you two if you call in the next 10 minutes.


5. Cat Track Ball
  -   This is awesome. You can have your cat occupied for hours chasing a fake sphere under a cloth, since we know how bored cats can get during the day. I really want one of these items ... and I don't even have a cat.

And since you acted TODAY, here is a bonus one:



• 65 Classic Soft Rock Hits

  -  The guy from Ambrosia couldn't be wrong.  




Jim Ellis is a writer and producer living in Lemon Grove. Birthday gifts can be sent by connecting at www.LegacyProductions.org.