The Loss of Innocence ... and the Pop-Tarts

We all have those moments. Those heartbreaking times when innocence is all but lost.

• Those first moments when mom and dad somehow stopped being two perfect people. 
• The times when the belief in Santa Claus became something for kids.    
• The loss of that first family cat or dog.  
• The curtain being moved aside to reveal the small man wizard, in so many different ways.
• The heartbreak of the first girlfriend or boyfriend ... and their untimely farewell.
• The first lawsuit when you knew you did nothing wrong. 

And for me ... the stolen Pop-Tarts.

Man, those Pop-Tarts. I know there were a bunch of kinds, such as blueberry and strawberry, but I loved the chocolate fudge Pop-Tarts. Remember those? I didn't even need them toasted, just thrown into my lunch bag so I could enjoy those treats at lunchtime. The way to eat them, for me, was to pick at the outer crust and then start in on the fudge interior. I didn't care about the 7 essential vitamins. I just wanted the chocolate, and the snack.

That's why the one day in second grade was so disheartening. I had brought my lunch bag to school as I had done for the entire year. Sandwich and chips in there, courtesy of mom. And the big treat was the Pop-Tart. And as always before class, in the early morning, all the kids put their lunch bags down at the side wall near the entrance to the classroom. I recall this one day, Rusty was asking me if I had brought a Pop-Tart or not. I didn't know why he was so interested in that.

After running around on the playground for a bit before class started, I went to my lunch bag. I picked it up. And it appeared lighter. I looked inside, and my chocolate Pop-Tart was gone. I was crushed. Who would take my Pop-Tart? How could this happen? I questioned Rusty in one of those weird ways where you try to have them admit to something but you don't know how. Looking back, why the hell is an 8-year-old having to do such maneuvering and positioning? How sad is that? 

Loss is sad.
Having something taken from you is heartbreaking.
Life can hurt.  
 
In the late 1970's Bruce Springsteen sung of broken dreams and the loss of innocence, as his unbridled joy of recording and performing was thwarted through a lawsuit brought by his previous manager Mike Appel. His song "The Promise" pointed to such brokenness.

The promise is broken, you go on living
It steals something from down in your soul
When the truth is spoken, it don't make no difference
Something in your heart goes cold

Now, no doubt, I make the story lighthearted with the tale of a Pop-Tart. But it doesn't matter when it happens. Or how it happens. Or even why. It just happens. Life comes along, with its deadbeat dudes and gals, who don't know any better. And they want to steal something from you. And whether it's a dream of Santa, a home, a job, a spouse or a simple childhood treat, the key to dealing with loss is to not let it steal your joy, your enthusiasm or your innocence.

For after all the curtains are pulled aside, to reveal every crazy and fake Wizard of Oz, we will stand in truth knowing we can never truly lose the love, the light and the innocence that is our birthright. And who knows? Maybe after that awakening, we can be treated to have returned to us those things that truly matter to us in the end.

Such as, yes you know it ...

James Anthony Ellis is a writer living in San Diego. He can be reached at www.LegacyProductions.org. 

Emily and I Loving the Devil

Memories pop in at the most interesting times. And often they come in for a reason.

Today it's the memory of an 8-year-old niece Emily and her Uncle Jim, me, driving in my car somewhere, from here to there, and the short conversation that could be had between two relatives interested in reaching something meaningful. It was 1990.

Now some backstory...

My life SUCKS lately. It's 2017, and I have been through the ringer, full of anxiety in a life where people appear to enjoy the idea of leveraging some sort of advantage in order to feel better than and more powerful than others. The capitalistic dream right? Or is it a nightmare? In either case, I've been down when experiencing either side of the coin - believing I have power because I have the leverage over another or completely upset believing another has leverage over me.

What can I do to get free of this vicious cycle?

Perhaps it's that very question that led me to the memory of a story that took place some 27 years ago.

For there we were - me and Emily out on the road. Me making some lighthearted chat and her playing along. In those days, I was deeply engaged in the process of healing, actively removing inner blocks and unresolved emotions in order to find the light and the love within. So it wasn't too far of a stretch for me to play this game with Emily...

• Jim: Hey - let's play a game and see how many people we can think of to love.
• Emily: What do you mean? How would we play it?
• Jim: Every person we see as we drive, we can say we love them, even if we don't know them.
• Emily: What? 
• Jim: Here, let's start. I see those two people walking. Love two! There are three people in that other car. Love three!
• Emily: Oh. Another walker. Love one!!!
• Jim:  Love four.
• Emily:  Love three!
• Jim: Love two!
• Emily: Hey, I saw them first.

The game went on a bit, as we competed to see who could love more people and get to them before the other one. At some point, I said it was possible to love everyone in the world. This sort of confused the young one.

"What about the devil? Do you love the devil?"

Hmmm, that was a good question. What popped in my mind at the time came tumbling out. "Well, someone has to. He might need it more than anyone else."



Again confusion. But that was OK. It was just a game. Kinda like life is just a game. Can we come to realize that it is a game? Can we see that we have full power to send an unlimited amount of love, from a source that becomes more illumined the more we tap into it?

With such a belief, a standpoint that we can give without worry of return, there is no room for a passive bystander, no place for victim, no us and them, no leverage, no control - just our powerful choice to act upon a heart open and willing to love. Why not? What else can an innocent being do, one that lives beyond right and wrong, and one who mainly knows a divine instinct to give from the very essence of who they are?

Leverage over another? No thanks. That would be somewhat, shall we say, evil? Love the devil? Sure, it can only help. Rekindle the memory of a story of two relatives on a fun drive focusing on the love we can share with everyone?

In this day and age ... a must.

James Anthony Ellis is an award-winning writer living in San Diego. He can be loved - er reached - at www.LegacyProductions.org. 

Quick - Love those you Love RIGHT NOW

Hey you.

Yeah you. I'm talking to you. Since, you know what? You ended up at this page. It's no freaking coincidence. This is not by happenstance. You were meant to read this. I was meant to write it.

Writing it in mere seconds. So you - yeah you - could read it.

And here is what you are supposed to do IMMEDIATELY. Well, immediately after you take the mere seconds in reading this piece.

You ... are ... to ... go love those you love... right now.

Yup. No delay. Think of them. Think of her. Think of him. Consider your mother, or father, or sister or brother ... or any other form of human being that resides within your lovely state of mind and sphere of influence.

After considering them, do one or more of the following:

• Call them with a message of uplift and acknowledgment.
• E-mail them with some sentiments of gratitude.
• Text a comment of love and light, using the words you both share in mutual understanding. 
• Facebook a private (or public if that works) post that glimmers in the care and love you feel deeply within your heart.
• Bounce a basketball outside their home until they get the message that you want them to come outside and shoot a few hoops.
• Something completely customized according to your own creativity ... and heart.

This is all about your heart and that which resides within.

Doesn't matter the number of people you cherish; make it one for now. Allow that heart of yours in this moment to be free and shine upon those you love. It doesn't have to look a certain way. However, the mere act of sharing your heart with another will do the trick of OPENING THAT heart. And that will not only serve those showered with the love, but also serve you as well.

No secret. Nothing new here. Except for this part: that you take action - real action, simple action, with the idea that pops into your mind. And that you take such action RIGHT NOW. Immediately. Stop thinking, stop reading.

Act now. Love now.