Saturday, June 15, 2019

Love’s Momentum



I wrote this after recollecting a peak experience of awakening I had one day 20 years ago. It was 1999 and I was in a car with a girlfriend and two of her young daughters, aged 4 and 7. The two girls were singing along to the tune on the radio: "I want it that way" by the Backstreet Boys. For that moment, in the sweet harmony of sisters, the pure innocence of pure love filled the space. I was immersed in the full beauty of hearts free to express themselves. Even today, upon reflection, I can remember how love demolishes the insanity of this world of duality. 
 








 




 
Bursts of broken glass blow apart structures once sturdy
Cleansing from within the diseased, the downtrodden, the dirty
The peeling off of the dry and dead – reality’s skin
Crushing the delusions of every place we’ve been
Laughable, all stress – in an instant – melts to the ground
An open sky – space brothers smile at what we’ve found
Celebration rumbles up from underground roots
The return of the Lord of Lords, the truth of truths
No more need for forgiveness, retribution, reparation
Nor the desperate propaganda to keep us all in separation
No longer preoccupied with agony’s desire for attention
Fuck that – here it comes – yes it’s love’s momentum

It started from the first explosion of soul – a divine spark
Tumbling earthbound for the joyful excursion into the dark
Duality dripped upon us until we fell for it hook, line and sinker
Drowning our sorrows in poison – a lonely, early morning drinker
Buried in soot, buried in denial, barely a breath to exhale
Covered up – veil upon veil upon veil … upon veil
Even prayers leave us in despair, believing no one will ever be there
When all that is wanted is the face of someone, anyone, who cares
So we search – as we plunder, blunder, slumber along
Every step, deeper into the test, learning right from wrong
One hand clapping, our primordial face – all of life’s conundrums
Will it come - where is the eternal, the source … love’s momentum?

It is here, it is here, do not despair
Every time we proclaim that life is not fair
Seeds will bloom, given room, in full magic and splendor
Soothing all sores, healing all wounds … all so tender
Miracles arising everywhere – glimmering underneath dreams that are buried
The yin and the yang, the above and the below – forever married
Seen in anonymous donation, God’s invisible helping hand
Seen in two young sisters, in sweet harmony, singing glories of the latest boy band
Seen in the laughter of the child who recalls not history’s hell
Seen in in sublime response to prayer from our own wishing well
Seen in the dramas and karmas playing out in divine detail
Seen in the transcendent lesson gifted us every time we fail
Seen in the light of our life that often eludes our worldly attention
It is here, it is here, it is here … look for it … love’s momentum

Monday, April 15, 2019

So Taxing



Let’s ponder this fact, once proposed as an act
That would bellow abundance for all
To pay for the battle we all posthumously wanted
For – no worries – a limited time only
Never to rise above 5 percent … or so
So that …
So that …
So what?
To ultimately justify the siphoning of your soul
For your labor
For the sweat on your brow
For you – the new cash cow

While elites laugh over the 16th, designed by the poor to milk the rich
What a bitch
The switch that transformed the easy ride for the low
Into a money pit where income and life-energy would flow
Once a chance to grow … with other people’s money
But now look – how funny!
One big tax code, getting fatter and fatter and fatter
Like cattle to the slaughterhouse, we are funneled right into our fate
Now too late
To overturn the indoctrination that would, in absolute insanity, make a taxable event of your labor
Save the favor
Five generations deep, we’re all asleep
To the nightmare that allows the controllers to use our money
For what?

For wars
For Clintons, Bushes and Gores
For spaceships
For spaceshit
For bullshit
For senseless scientific studies that belie the scientific method
For expensive red tape
For plans to populate, with pins, a checkerboard map made of nations
For strategies to desecrate and defile other people’s homes and bodies
For black-tie events and the armed guards that protect them
For the overlord 1040 and 540, now legal in the eyes who have forgotten
And now give willingly, at gunpoint and up against threats of further slavery
Under the weight that gets heavier and heavier and heavier
So heavy
So wearisome
So taxing
So taxing

Joining In One Force



A plan to deliver this May 14 at the "Keeping The Peace" event in San Diego during National Police Week. Request for invitations here:  JimEllis1103@Gmail.com.

Here, in sacred celebration, we meet on common ground
Reclaiming what is ours, rejoicing in what’s been found
Peace of mind, peace in heart, peace in community
The end of the eternal search for a neighborhood unity
Returning to core principles that keep us on one course
Citizens and law enforcement … joining in one force
It begins with a common purpose – a singular, focused goal
It begins with what’s known as “wellness” – of body, mind and soul


Beyond the struggles and conflicts, below all that is mad
Realizing our humanity rests below the vest and badge
Beyond the few bad apples who don’t reflect the commitment here
Below the anxiety, angst, desperation, fright and fear
Healing and health is present now while we all take on our duty
Embracing the grace, accepting the fate, seeing all of the beauty
All it took is just one look below one thin layer
To see the care and selfless service – an answer to a prayer

Though media will publicize the derision and division
We’ll turn the tide, and look inside, and make a new decision
Officers – they see so much yet run towards the danger
Let’s replace with admiration and appreciation any sense of anger
Let’s realize the job they do, and know we are all human born
To hold the line, to protect and serve – yes, they have so sworn
And so shall all hear the call and give from the common source
All of us here, and those far and near … joining in one force


Thursday, March 14, 2019

When I Look Into My Heart



As I wake up in the morning at times to a hurt heart, I thought of writing a poem from the vantage point of what I see when I look within.  I was surprised. 

When I look into my heart of hearts
I find what tears this world apart
A world of war and battle and disease and strife
A world of hatred and anger over this unfair life
A world of gangs and tagging and bravado and stances
A world of dirty tricks, drive-by shootings and angry glances
A world of deep longing and loss and desperation
A world of grief and fear – a world of separation
Where does it all begin; how did it ever start?
I find the answer in my heart of hearts

It’s Isabel and Louise who turned away without a word
Leaving me lost, confused, alone – so hurt
It’s Kelle with her innocent yet mischievous grin
Before her alcohol, drugs and past did her in
It’s a father and a mother who wanted no signs of feeling
Nothing of what I had to say would hold any meaning
It’s a best friend Jamie moving far away – a defector
It’s a sister – my enemy – though I was supposed to protect her
It’s a kindergarten room, like a prison with a guard
It’s the bully who made walking to school just so hard
It’s a teacher who graded me – F, S or E
Even my own art I could no longer see
My identity was put so far up onto a shelf
I lost it all; I lost myself

When I look into my heart of hearts
I find what tears this world apart
My perception, my vision, my filter, my take
Leaving behind myself – my first mistake
It took my writing, my prose, my creativity
It stole my confidence and imagination and ingenuity
It took my enthusiasm, my joy, my innocence
In the depths, it took everything that made any sort of sense
Leaving only the news of the day, with all its dismay
And the heartbreak and anxiety, sure signs of decay
Though when I peer deeper than this surface show
The reality still resides – the beauty forever exists below
I restore, reclaim, remember what has always been
I find the self – and the truth - I am that I am that I am
I find the chance to begin again, with a brand new start
When I look into my heart of hearts
When I look into my heart of hearts


The Same Man




So many masks, but underneath it all perhaps we are merely players on this stage. 

Prisoner, guard, convict, thief
I am all and none of these
Burglar, speedster, judge, police
Playing the game of hide and seek
Embracing all, in one big breath
Give me liberty or give me death
Parts to be acted in God’s odd action plan
I am … the same man

I am the one who just stole your car
The one who stumbles out of that seedy bar
The gambler who lost it all in a risky bet
Then presses a gun barrel right against my neck
The mugger whispering in ear: “your money or your life”
The cheater who cheated with your dear, sweet wife
The liar who lies … into eyes … all of the while
The realtor, banker and lawyer who smiles that slippery smile
The addict that scrounges aimlessly for the next high
The numbed-out who doesn’t even know how to get by
I am the monster, the rapist, the beast, the foe
With nowhere to be and nowhere to go
The solider, armed and dangerous, ready to attack
The enemy, armed and dangerous, prepared to fight back
The rich tyrant dictator with the most evil of plan
The beggar on street corner with outstretched hand
I am … the same man

The hero, the wizard, the saint, the sage
The next messiah bringing forth a brand new age
The eagle that soars to heights of the highest perch
The freedom-seeker who frees all who will search
The one who walks the elder from one curb to the other
I am the love of the uncle, the son, the father, the brother
I am the medicine man who cares for all in this tribe
I am the sharing friend with nothing to hide
I am the supportive ear when you have lost so much in life
I am the steady strength guiding you back into the light
I am the guardian protecting you from the threatening force
I am the provider representing life’s abundant source
The partner who knows what’s mine … is mine to share
The lover who caresses in kindness and care
The magician whose curiosity invites all to understand
The warrior who plants the stake and then takes a stand
The king who carries in heart the most inclusive of plan
I am … the same man

And in my own mundane life ... I too play the parts
Breaking and blessing and rescuing hearts
As pressures and stressors continue to mount
As avalanches collapse upon each bank account
I hold steady to the truth an identity strong
As in “The Who’s Down in Whoville” celebration song
No force can turn me from the right to the wrong
No one can seduce me away from where I belong
I’ll stand in presence – through failure and success
Doing what I must, and doing my best
I’ll falter at times, and I’ll break down in defeat
And yet brush myself off and get back on my feet
No matter where I go or who I have become
Nothing in my past will have to be undone
Moving forward into storm, breaking through the storm cloud
Taking flight into sunlight, with a voice bellowing loud
I am here – for you and me – in God’s destiny command
I ask that – through it all – you come to understand
I will always be … the same man

Saturday, February 16, 2019

Somehow Yours

This one is inspired by our US Constitution, and the horrific tragedy of it being chipped apart, leaving a nation of citizens anything but free to pursue life, liberty and happiness.











Control me, control me
Take what’s mine and do with it what you wish
Use me, use me, use me
Shackle me with iron
Handcuff me with your mind
Whip me into submission
It is your will
To control me, control me
I am what you want me to be
It is, oh master, my destiny

Govern me, govern me
Mother me, smother me
Force your care up my ass
Punished if I go against your plans
Search my soul because you feel like it
My car, my wallet, my cell phone, my pants
Grab my package near the baggage return
Scan my body, my mind, my social media
My phone records, my eyes, my thumbprint
Orchestrate complicated tax forms to elevate your status
Press down hard, like onto a flea, so the blood spurts outward
Bleeding savings and profits, so they can be your own
My debt is your leverage, gifting you capital gains
Stick needles into our children, pin cushions for your power
Test me with your TB
No choices left for those hanging onto the human rights of passage
My rolling stops have you seeing red
So taser the uncontrollable
As your accountants lick their chops
Take what’s mine and do with it what you wish
Perhaps a nice dinner party dish
Catered by butler and maids who bend to your needs
Hotel lobby, government car, all paid expenses of travel and board
No need to hoard
For you have enough
Our hard earned money is somehow yours
Is somehow yours
Somehow yours

Control me, control me
Use me, use me
Shackle me, handcuff me
Whip me with your will
I am what you want me to be
Apparently, it is, oh master, our destiny

The Unexpected Guest




Inspired only by the words "unexpected guest" in an e-mail from a friend. I knew there was a poem in there, not knowing about the Agatha Christie play of the same name.  As I wrote it, I didn't know who would be behind that door. I was as surprised as anyone.

Cloaked with robe
A mysterious messenger
Arises
In doorway
Holding the key
Of the great mystery
To all the universal gifts, eroding the rifts
Bringing balance, reflection, harmony, all of our best
Who is this unexpected guest?

Entering the door
Who is this one here for?
Taking a seat, the suspense grows
Removing the hood
All is understood
As if in dreamscape
As if by miracle
By fate
Beyond the realm that carries enmity, anger, hate

Beyond separation
Here in full unification
The end of anticipation
The presence, our visitor
Alone
But joined in history’s thread
To those I would love, honor, fear and dread
With repeated removal of garment mask
Revealed at last …

My first friend
Who ran and jumped in puddles
Along with me
Wild abandon, wicked, mischievous and free
Reminding me of everything I need to be

My first schoolteacher
Who gave me smiley faces and knew me well
Somehow
Wanting the best for me
To go beyond the “S,” and earn that “E”

My first fight
The bully who would try and get me in headlocks
Steal my Pop Tart
My milk money
Until a crazed monster flew out of me
And stood my ground
For my safety … safe and sound

My first girlfriend
Who recognized something in me, anyway
A heart beating
A feeling fleeting
Before time and tears washed it all away

My first heartbreak
Sitting still, staring off, glazed eyes
Wanting this not to be real
The cracking earth, the letter, the goodbyes
Echoed in the memory of each love torn apart
An education in the will of the wind … and the will of the heart

My father
Buying Slurpies
Playing catch
Watching ballgames
Attending graduations, celebrations, presentations
Without a word
That ellipses within communication …
A timetable of subtle and silent support

My mother
Looking back to her the first day of kindergarten
Making sure she is there
And will remain
Ever present, ever loving, ever strong
For all time
Even after the pain
And the hospice … and the final kiss
Upon forehead

My wife
Standing side by side
We ride the wildest ride
Learning of connection without compromise
The holy instant grasped in fingertips
The haven that is a holy relationship

My life
Who I need to be
Striving for the excellence of a report card “E”
With a heart known no matter what
Surviving the deepest of the deepest first cut
In silent support found within
A look back in memory where it all could begin
The holiest of holys – we stand face to face
In the presence of the people I have come to embrace

Every character in this play
Made me who I am today
With or without iambic meter
The rose could not be any more sweeter
Every one of these revealing something of myself
Something to take down, in time, from high upon a shelf
As I place everyone and everything, finally to rest
Revealed at last …
The unexpected guest


Monday, January 14, 2019

There Comes A Time



There comes a time when all good rhymes
Arrive at the end of the line
When we say goodbye to the lies and disguise
And the facades built to hide
We say farewell and let go
Of the parades and the show
There comes a time
When the roles that we play
Have all had their say
And the costumes that we wear
Out of fear or despair
At last … give way to the sublime
For … there comes a time

There comes a time
When we ascend into the depth
Into that which is left
The ashes left behind
Can only remind
Revealing a truth that stands forever
Crushing status that never could measure
Demolishing everything into dust
Precious metals turn to rust
Melting masks, burning down, ripping free
Unlocking the prison with the key…

Our sweetness, our bliss, our glory
The start to the never-ending story
The light and the love
The raining gifts from above
The purity, the joy
A little girl, a little boy

Finally, in the end
For all family, foes and friends
We’ll embrace what’s yours, ours and mine
For always and forever … there comes a time