You’re Not Welcome Here

Shyness whispers in my ear; despondency responds

One sure truth is all so clear, nowhere do I belong

As friends disappear, there comes to mind a lonely open door

The past appears, and now I recall the losses from before

There are no real surprises … just the echoes down the hall

And then the belief arises: "You’re not welcome here at all"

An absent mother didn’t see the medals I could have worn

A jealous brother oh so mean, saying: “It was better before you were born”

Hide and seek in the yard, you played it without inviting me

Math and speech so hard, I could barely manage a D

There were the cliques in high school, the athletes would gather inside

You know I just wasn’t that cool, the elites kept me outside

The dates I had were fine, and the relationships sublime

Yet fate would lead me blind, until connections left me behind

One betrayal after the other, I question if I can go on

Can I handle another chance to see where I don’t belong?

Not ever knowing where to start, or when to say what to say

And then even my own heart, found a way to keep me at bay

With little gratitude, I saw only the lack before my eyes

Even in solitude, my thoughts would attack my own disguise

Holding up a tight clenched fist, no relief, just a trip turning into a fall

Arising from a mindset mist, that belief: “You’re not welcome here at all”

And then alas it does come: a new mind, a new thought

No matter how far I’ve run, it was time that I got caught

Gradually, from place to place, the movement had begun

Finally, face-to-face, I saw the reflection of the one

Let’s hold it out, give it birth, and breathe a brand new breath

Let’s scream and shout, in our rebirth, seizing a timely death

A healed mind realizes what to do, and also what to know

A feeling kind, a path so true, in this time to grow

Full of grace and with loving release, we cut away what does not serve

With a steady pace, we shift beliefs, and accept what we deserve

Could the original thought be wrong, could we change a belief gone astray?

Could it be that I do belong, in a reality where it’s safe to say?

Yes, just in time, we secure a new phase, heeding the angels’ call

And now we decline and turn back the phrase: sorry ... you are not welcome here at all

You’re not welcome here at all