What My Mom Would’ve Said

Written for Mother's Day 2020

As I sit here musing away, I consider what my mother would be saying to me, during these chaotic and challenging times, if she were alive. 

It's times like these, you want the sort of care, compassion and warmth that can come from those who offer a true unconditional love. When the world appears to be falling apart, it is so nice to hear the words that soothe and soften a hardened reality.

I must admit I am at a bit of a loss to know what she would say, as my mother was quite the receptive listener, more so than the active speaker. She routinely created a space of curiosity and wonder, inquiring into my thoughts, my life.

• "How are you doing?"
• "What is going on?"
• "Tell me what is new."

So often, I would launch into a full answer - half of which designed to help process my life at the time, half of which designed to entertain her, with some not-so-secret hopes to get her to smile and laugh. After a Leo-rising inspired monologue, I would turn things around and ask her what she thought and what was new in her life.

A few words here and there. A glance around and then, of course, back to me.

I do at times wonder what more was going on with her, in her life: the deeper feelings, thoughts, fears, joys. And yet, what was offered mostly was her energy and her care. And it was so strong and so loving, that of course it was enough. I wouldn't pressure her into sharing or revealing more.

In her life, she enjoyed her kids, watching them grow and go, her turkey wrap with avocado at Coco's and Jon's restaurant, her Get Smart reruns, her country music, her gardening, her crossword puzzles, her dining outings with her forever husband - my dad. Yes, she held a consistent gaze, watching on, silently wishing for the best for her family. It was indeed a sublime surrender she had, full and rich with a simple offer of presence.

So as I ponder, in the midst of these crazy times, as stress and pressure build up in my heart, mind and gut, I imagine what she would say to me...

• "How are you doing?"
• "What is going on?"
• "Tell me what is new."

And I know it would be exactly what I would need to hear.